The Backup

When a relationship blogger finds herself in a relationship, her outlook suddenly changes. That is why – when spending time with the boy’s single friends – I find myself so very enthralled by their juicy, single-behaviour stories. And lucky for them, being deemed a ‘relationship expert’, they get to divulge their unedited stories of everything from dating to mating, and in turn get my blunt advice. And how does this relate to you, you ask? Well, the boys’ buddies act as muse’s of sorts, inspiring new single-friendly material. Like today’s post.

In single times when uncertainty soars, you don’t want to screw yourself over and end up empty handed, mind the pun. It looks something like this: you are going out with your fellow single femme fatales for a night of partying and drinking on the town. You send flirtatiously-infused texts to your crush, hoping that your paths will cross once the drinks seep into your blood system, as does the blood to his. Your goal: to bed a boy come end of eve. He’s hints at where him and his boys might be boozing, and you plan to maybe meet up with him. But incase your paths don’t align, or something comes up – so as not to put your back up against the wall – you message a backup guy; another crush who you know has a thing for you, who you have ‘on call’ as a ‘just in case’. You may even have your backup meet you at the same venue you’re meeting your first choice feature, a greedy little tactic to ensure satisfaction, somehow.

Before you backup, here are the core need-to-knows:

1) Your backup has a back up: both your back up boy and your number one choice likely each have a back up. Guys are no different than girls. If you and your friends have a safe, fall back person to call up when feeling rejected, or merely as an alternate option, chances are him and his friends do too.

2) Damage Control: if you invite a few various guys to the same bar in hopes that at least one will come, they may all turn up there and you’ll have to juggle to ensure none of them catch on to your promiscuous little plans. If you are willing to risk putting yourself in a hands-in-the-cookie-jar kind of situation, be ready to be responsible and reap the consequences that may come from getting caught.

3) Many men ‘on standby’, a relationship does not make: if you have a back up guy, yet are interested in settling down and can’t figure out why you are still single, drop the backup and put all your energy and attention into one person. When we don’t invest our whole selves into one person, we are never able to see all they have to offer and vice versa.

– Jenny Jen

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