Screen left, catches both my eyes and my heart. Zoom in. Thin hand with a fresh mani (likely Essie’s ‘Mint Candy Apple) wrapped around a suited arm. A well suited at that, for on the arm linked around hers on screen right, is that of another woman. The name for this holding of sorts, this link seen is friendship at it’s finest – the inclusion of – who we know to be a – recently single friend. Zoom out. Smiles on the girls faces. Smiles seen in the sparkle in their eyes. And if the camera pointed towards me that lay ontop of my MacBook screen were on, you’d see just about the most genuine smile on mine.
I have been cast in the role of Ashley Tisdale and I have been cast in the role of Selena Gomez various times in the ‘life and times’ that are my twentysomethings. In one I played that of a newly coupled-up twentysomething, basking in the excitement and glow that is a new relationship; one way better than the one previous. In the other I played a sweet girl who tried to make things work, but ended up single and had to try to keep on keeping on.
When going through the loss of a relationship, we all know that going out and about ain’t easy. Hey – getting out of bed is a hardship at that, so I couldn’t be more in awe of Selena for getting up and at ’em, in a hot little number to boot. And what’s so great about this little captured moment we can see above, isn’t just what’s presented here, but what’s visible to the trained eye. The in-the-moment smile as seen in the eyes. The knowingness of not being alone and having a friend by your side to keep you distracted. The confidence in ones gestures that they will be ok, and in this moment – even though it’s one of many – is just that. And the unprecedented example that another couple can show you; the knowingness that great relationships can exist and in time we all move forward.
One of the best remedies for a breakup is spending time with other couples. Whether it’s as extreme as camping out at a friend and her boyfriends apartment for a week, being reminded what a healthy relationship looks like, or whether it’s meeting another couple for a dinner out, observing their interactions and being reminded that you are cared for, couples should be the ones you are seeking out during this time, not your fellow single femmes.
Many of us think in we/them terms. We (singles) them (couples). We either assume that they won’t understand or be able to relate, or we assume that we’re a third wheel taking away from their one-on-one, lovey-dovey couple time. But we all need some balance. And the newly-single can also use a refresher course, a great reminder not to give up on men forever because one person didn’t end up working out with them.
Sure you can talk to these couples about the fact that you-know-who screwed you over (or vice versa,) and sure you can tell them about your newly-single sexcapades (and horror stories alike!) But don’t write your coupled-up friends off. They are just what you need to help you see that things are ok.
– Jenny Jen
Photo credit: Source.