Jen Kirsch x Women’s Health

womens-health-mag-logo

For those of you have been following my tales of the heart for the past umpteen years on Blonde, Bronzed, Twentysomething, you can now find my more mature coverage for my fave magazine, Women’s Health. I am now the online Sex + Love writer for Women’s Health online. A total dream come true and love working and covering the latest newsy stories when it comes to dating, love and life. You can check out all my articles for them here.

Don’t have time to peruse and want pieces tailored based on your needs? Here are some of my most clicked and shared articles for Women’s Health that you might enjoy:

1. 9 Sign’s He’s the Guy You Should Marry
2. Single People Now Outnumber Married People3. Here’s What You Discover After Analyzing a MILLION Sex Toy Purchases
4. What Britney Spears Does to Feel Sexy
5. The ‘Bachelor In Paradise’ Men Share What They’re Really Looking For in a Woman
6. The 7 Best Times to Have Sex
7. What a Man’s Face Says About His Fertility
8. Why Jennifer Lopez Isn’t Giving Up on Love

Be sure to check out my first feature for Women’s Health in the November 2014 issue, which will be on newsstands next month.

– Jen

A remedy for a breakup

14th Annual Warner Bros. And InStyle Golden Globe Awards After Party - Arrivals

Screen left, catches both my eyes and my heart.  Zoom in.  Thin hand with a fresh mani (likely Essie’s ‘Mint Candy Apple) wrapped around a suited arm.  A well suited at that, for on the arm linked around hers on screen right, is that of another woman.  The name for this holding of sorts, this link seen is friendship at it’s finest – the inclusion of – who we know to be a – recently single friend.  Zoom out.  Smiles on the girls faces.  Smiles seen in the sparkle in their eyes.  And if the camera pointed towards me that lay ontop of my MacBook screen were on, you’d see just about the most genuine smile on mine.

I have been cast in the role of Ashley Tisdale and I have been cast in the role of Selena Gomez various times in the ‘life and times’ that are my twentysomethings. In one I played that of a newly coupled-up twentysomething, basking in the excitement and glow that is a new relationship; one way better than the one previous.  In the other I played a sweet girl who tried to make things work, but ended up single and had to try to keep on keeping on.

When going through the loss of a relationship, we all know that going out and about ain’t easy.  Hey – getting out of bed is a hardship at that, so I couldn’t be more in awe of Selena for getting up and at ’em, in a hot little number to boot.  And what’s so great about this little captured moment we can see above, isn’t just what’s presented here, but what’s visible to the trained eye.  The in-the-moment smile as seen in the eyes.  The knowingness of not being alone and having a friend by your side to keep you distracted.  The confidence in ones gestures that they will be ok, and in this moment – even though it’s one of many – is just that.  And the unprecedented example that another couple can show you; the knowingness that great relationships can exist and in time we all move forward.

One of the best remedies for a breakup is spending time with other couples.  Whether it’s as extreme as camping out at a friend and her boyfriends apartment for a week, being reminded what a healthy relationship looks like, or whether it’s meeting another couple for a dinner out, observing their interactions and being reminded that you are cared for, couples should be the ones you are seeking out during this time, not your fellow single femmes.

Many of us think in we/them terms.  We (singles) them (couples).  We either assume that they won’t understand or be able to relate, or we assume that we’re a third wheel taking away from their one-on-one, lovey-dovey couple time.  But we all need some balance.  And the newly-single can also use a refresher course, a great reminder not to give up on men forever because one person didn’t end up working out with them.

Sure you can talk to these couples about the fact that you-know-who screwed you over (or vice versa,) and sure you can tell them about your newly-single sexcapades (and horror stories alike!)  But don’t write your coupled-up friends off.  They are just what you need to help you see that things are ok.

– Jenny Jen

Photo credit: Source.

Dear diary


So often we are caught saying that we won’t do x again. X being whatever it is that isn’t giving us the results that we want. X being something that makes us feel worse, rather than better. X could be everything from seeing a toxic guy, an ex, not standing up for yourself, spending to much money on a night out, skipping workouts or whatever comes to mind for you. But where we go wrong by saying we won’t let x happen again, is that our lovestoned-selves often forget the bad once we’re out of that low-feeling moment, making us not keep true to our word because we forgot it really ever was uttered.

Pain hurts and so, after the fact, we often forget about it, because to be honest with oneself is to hurt oneself. Many of us aren’t strong enough to make changes to better ourselves, because change can be scary. It can be uncomfortable. Our thoughts tell us that it is easier to stay in a not-so-favourable situation, rather than take the steps and strength needed to walk away from it. Well my in-denial friends, it’s time to wake up and smell the…torture. You are in control of your own life and only you can make the changes necessary to make it one worth living; one worth celebrating. What is holding you back? Who is holding you back? What is that one thing/person/situation that you feel you have no control over?

The first step is to acknowledge it. Once you are aware, you’ll be able to make changes. Easier said then done, especially if we are prone to lock our sadness up in a heart-shaped box. So here’s what I suggest: write about it. Yes, that’s right – dear diary, old school styles. When you write in a moment of anger, not only will that distract you from buying into your thoughts, causing you to react, but also, it will allow you to look back overtime to see if anything has changed. Now it doesn’t have to be in a journal, nor does it have to be in a notebook of any sort. Instead, you can save a note, titled with the days date and enter your feelings into the ‘note’ section on your smartphone. This is more readily available to you and the next time you get worked up over the x factor, you can realize that it’s simply history repeating itself; that if the other person or thing won’t change, then it is up to you to take a different step.

We all act on auto-pilot, seemingly oblivious to the role we are playing in our own demise. Open your eyes, take note of your feelings and what triggers the negative ones and look back on your words to ensure you don’t put yourself in the positions that you do, again.

– Jenny Jen

Photo credit: Source.