Your chance at an exclusive meet & greet with the gentleman of Bachelor In Paradise

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If you’ve caught yourself lusting over the gents who have graced your small screen this summer on the most dramatic show ever – Bachelor Pad – and wish you had an opp to meet ’em and woe ’em (because it’s so obvious about what the babebette’s on the show are doing wrong) now’s your lucky chance.

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Above: Jen Kirsch and Michael Stagliano

I’m gifting one lucky reader the opportunity to win VIP tickets to do just that this upcoming Friday, September 5th in Toronto at the #TIFFBachelorParty hosted by The Bachelor alum and fan favourite, Michael Stagliano. I’ve met and worked with some of the boys in the past, and let me tell you, they’re even more charming and handsome in person.

You can win by…
1. Following me on Twitter @jen_kirsch
2. Tweet me using @jen_kirsch and share which babe of a  bachelor in paradise boy you’d love to meet & greet, along with the hashtag #TIFFBachelorParty

The winner will be announced via my Twitter @jen_kirsch the evening of Wednesday, September 3rd.

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Above: Ed Swiderski & Jen Kirsch reading the latest on Blonde Bronzed Twentysomething

Good luck, ladies! Looking forward to seeing the winners this Friday eve with a flute in hand. For those who don’t win, you can purchase tickets to the event here and/or get the gossip of the night by following my Twitter account. I’ll hold nothing back. Promise.

Your fairy godmother,
Jenny Jen

That thing we do

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We are selfish fucks by nature, if I do say so myself. In our latter twentysomethings and beyond, we’ve created habits, routines and daily rituals that are ingrained in our very nature. Which is why, when someone asks us to do them a favour, we stutter for but a moment, as we struggle with the idea of going out of our comfort zone; at a surprise suggestion on an extra step in our day that we pre-planned in our minds.

How humorous it is of us to want to come up with the easiest of excuses to not have to do that which is asked of us, in an innate reaction. And yet, how lovely it is that someone feels comfortable enough to approach us, of all people, for help.

Doing someone a favour, a doormat does not make, so long as you’re not doing so out of guilt, or a feeling of ‘owing.’ So long as you’re not compromising your day and your needs. I used to struggle with being assertive, with standing up for myself, which benefited no one because I would be totally passive-aggressive about it, which made it seem to the person I was doing the fave for, that it was coming with a cost. But those days are – thank god – long gone. Now I know the value of my time and needs and don’t jeoprodize them for others. Having said that, when I do something for others, I do it to my best ability. I don’t complain about it, but instead I do it with pleasure. It’s a rewarding feeling, basking in the ability to help someone else, no matter how little or big the favour is.

If you say yes to doing something, do it with integrity. Keep your word. Don’t complain about it to them or to others. Just get’r done. People are attracted friendshiply (and otherwise) to those who are easy-natured, but also those who are assertive, which basically means your not a push-over, nor are you an aggressor.

Keep this is mind the next time you’re tempted to reach out to another for a helping hand, and in mind when someone else reaches out to you. All relationships should be balanced so make sure you’re not doing all the dirty work.

– Jenny Jen

Photo credit: Source.

 

The truth behind friendships

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Friendships are much like relationships. We are attracted to someones personality and feel happier and a sense of comfort when in their presence. We want to spend our time with them. We want to share a part of ourselves with them and we want to be there for them, to life them up when they are down; to help them along in this funny and confusing thing we call life. But the challenge of these relationships lie in how to deal and cope when issues, arguments and the like arise. When the two friends don’t see eye to eye. When one of the friends grow and the other is seemingly stuck. And for that, we often go through something similar to a breakup. We distance ourselves. We become less available. We cope with a loss in the best way we know how (sometimes by replacing them with a newer, cooler friend to take our mind off the loss,) and our lives go on. We might think about them from time to time, but like breakups, this is a part of life and we only grow from it.

Have you distanced yourself from a friend? Have you gone through this merry-go-round one too many times?

I have been both the one who has cut someone off, and the one who has been cut off. The latter is hurtful as fuck, because it’s a form of rejection; It’s a loss. And it’s sad to have all these seemingly sweet and fun memories with someone (as displayed in your old Facebook albums,) and then realizing, despite that, they saw you as someone they no longer wanted in their immediate circle. But, at the end of the day, if it were a boyfriend breaking up with you, you’d know better than to be hurt. You wouldn’t really yearn for him to ‘like’ your images or latest professional triumphs on Facebook or to call you on your birthday or to include you in big events and things they are throwing together (because that would be batshit cray.) And so, to move on over the loss of a friend, no matter how dear you thought they were, you need not have any expectations. If you run in similar social circles, be cordial, be kind. Your name is your livelihood. And if you don’t know why you were cut off and you genuinely want to know, reach out and ask, in a non-confrontational way, and do so knowing you may not get an answer at all. If they’ve written you off, they may not want to deal with the drama of explaining why. They may not want to hurt you. But accept the situation, wish them the best and make a promise to yourself that you will spend your precious time that you have on people who see value in you. How to tell who you should spend time with?

Traits of a genuine friend:

– you don’t hear through the grapevine that they’ve been complaining about you or your actions but instead they tell you to your face
– they are there for you in your darkest hour, even if they don’t get what you’re going through
– you never feel concerned that they’ll judge you, nor do you have to walk on eggshells to ask them a favour
– they don’t pressure you about how often they see you or not being included in something
– they meet you halfway, whether it be in distance or financially covering bills or in gifting you or even in a balance in social media (sharing pics of you in the same way you share pics and promote them)
– they never play the guilt card
– they’re never ‘too busy’ nor do they ignore your calls when you’re having a mini meltdown
– they include you when they are hosting
– they support and inquire about your livelihood: your job, hobbies, struggles, romantic life, instead of spending all your time together focusing on solely theirs

Much like a relationship, a friendship works best when the balance of power is equal. If a friendship isn’t healthy, you are not a bad person for cutting it off. You should feel safe in your friendships and the person you give the label ‘friend’ to should deserve it. It’s tough to lose those we have created memories and shared moments with, but no one said life is fair. People come and go at different times of our lives for different reasons. Embrace that theory and always do your best to be genuine to yourself and your feelings.

Your friend,
Jenny Jen

Photo credit: Source.