It’s the little things

jen kirsch, martin jensen

You are one of a kind. You have your quirks. You have characteristic traits that are you unique and exclusive to you as a being. These things that combine to make you the amazing young lady that you are –  flaws and all – are the key things that will draw in the right romantic partner for you.

I’ve spent most of my twentysomething in various long-term relationships (3 years, 3 years, 1 year, 10 months,) and none seemed to fit. I found myself turned off by my past partners flaws, scars and baggage and they to mine as well. There was always some sort of disconnect, and as I my thirtieth birthday, it’s clear to see that those relationships weren’t healthy. They were experience building, no doubt, but they wouldn’t have lasted.

So, what does a relationship expert think it takes to make a relationship last? Why the little things, of course. And big thanks to my man, for teaching me just that. Because not a day goes by where he doesn’t show me just how in love with me he is. And a relationship like this has no secret recipe. There are the basics: a mutual respect, a balance and a strong sense of authenticity. But above that it comes down to being attentive to your partners needs and wants and attending to those said needs and wants without being prompted.

Ask yourself: What puts a smile on my partners face? At the end of the day, we want our other half to be happy and our own happiness grows seeing them happy, right? So predict their wants. Does he love a certain type of beer that’s hard to find? Why not surprise him with a six pack in your fridge when you know he’s had a long day at work? Does he always put on his shirt inside out? Compliment that you love him for that. Do you work in the service industry? If he visits you, why not send him over his fave drink right away and make sure it’s constantly refilled?

Tune into the things your partner says. The foods, snacks and drinks they eat and crave. The songs that make them feel ‘happy,’ and induce their ‘game face.’ Take the time to seep in all of the little things that your partner values and cares about and then surprise him and reference those things often.

Not a day goes by since I met my man, that I haven’t told him how so very lucky and grateful I am to have him in my life. I never needed him and was never looking for someone, but he has been the best compliment to my life and much of that falls back on us having a balanced, mutually loving and respectful relationship where each day is another celebration to help one another smile.

The little things go a long way because these reassurances and needs he seeks are often hidden to everyone but you. By tending to them, you’re showing him that you listen, you remember, and you care.

– Jenny Jen

Photo: Jen Kirsch and Martin Jensen. El Doraldo Castitas Resort. Property of blondebronzedtwentysomething.


Sitting, Writing, Wishing

Today I celebrate my blogiversary. From scrolling in notebooks in my doctor-like printing in my bedroom, to typing out my tales and lessons in love for your inquiring eyes to glaze over, I’m grateful to you blonde, bronzed, twentysomethings for your ongoing readership, comments and queries.

So many of us have wants, and those wants seem unattainable so we often write them off before making any effort to obtain them. We look at things in a big picture kind of way and many of us are unwilling to be patient enough to take all the little, tedious steps required to get to the end result. Starting something new and in turn seeing it through is the hardest part.

In the past two years I went from starting this blog, uncertain of the focus, to shaping it into a blog about dating and relationships. I now write for many top tiered publications, and have weekly columns in a handful of them. This is not to brag in any sense but instead to show you how little time it takes to make your dreams become a reality. Start by blogging about something that interests you. Not only is it a great way to look back on your own self-growth, but you may catch a few interested eyes in the meantime. There is something so sacred about sharing your stories and helping others out. I love getting emails from readers who’s worlds I have helped shape through my guidance, whose relationships have flourished through my tips, who were able to walk away from toxic situations they were unaware of, until reading some direct posts of mine. To you, I am ever so appreciative.

You can want all you want, but you need to begin to take the necessary steps to get there, because no one will do it for you. This applies to starting a blog, a career, to getting that perfect relationship you’ve always hoped for and everything in between. We get so caught up in the idea of the future, we miss the present, which is the only thing that can get us there. Stay focused, do with no expectations, and the rest will come.

– Jenny Jen