We’re growing up!

jentrified

Oh hey you little blonde, bronzed…thirtysomething?

Ever since my 30th birthday back in June, I’ve been working on growing: personally, professionally, perfectly. Done are the days of being single in the city, navigating tricky relationships, friendships, and the like. Done are the days of blogging daily about all things dating and relationships. And though I love talking about all things under that umbrella, I’ve grown up, as have you, my beloved, blonde, bronzed readers.

So with that said, it has come a time where I must bid adieu to Blonde, Bronzed, Twentysomething and start a new chapter in my life: jentrified.

jentrified will be my new home and I invite you to join me in it.

jentrified is a more mature, grown up version of my acclaimed blog Blonde, Bronzed, Twentysomething, which received international attention and won awards for best dating and relationship blog and has been featured on the nations top morning and radio shows. jentrified will still cover dating and relationship advice and tips, but will also include all the various types of relationships we inhabit. Relationships with our parents, our children, our colleagues and our friends. Relationships with ourselves, our health and wellness, our relationships (read: obsessions) with food and drink, and our desire to host and entertain with finesse.

jentrified is your destination for all of life’s lusts. You can expect advice, tips, suggestions and ideas on how to make your life as easy as possible, but still filled with balance and abundance. It’s luxurious. It’s easy to navigate. And it will be answering all your questions on all things life, love and lust  and how to conquer life’s little questions, before you even ask them.

So join me on this new journey in my life. A sharper tone. A deeper look in. Into yourself. Into myself. Into this wondrous thing called life and how to inhabit it with flair. I’ll have lots of surprises and some great partnerships and can’t wait to disclose it to you as it all unfolds.

Be sure to check out my holiday gift guide that will be live on the site tomorrow in time for my launch, with suggestions from notable Canadians including Jessica Mulroney, George Stroumboulopoulos, Erin Kleinberg, Susur Lee, Shinan Govani and Natasha Koifman, amongst others. Find out what the head of Luxury and Lifestyle for InStyle Magazine has to say about jentrified, and bookmark this page to be sure you soak in my daily updates, tales and challenges.

But before I air kiss your contoured cheeks goodbye, I want to thank you. Thank you so very much for reading my blog, sharing your comments, challenging me with your questions, and sticking by as I grew over these past five plus years. I hope I too challenged you and helped you navigate your relationships and friendships when the going got tough. I admire all you readers who have come to BBTS in hopes of getting feedback and advice to get through the pains and challenges life unfairly threw your way in but a moments notice. Thank you readers for making BBTS the go-to site in Canada for all things dating and relationships. It’s been a wild ride and I couldn’t have been on it without you all.

Start following my new Facebook page by clicking here.

Wishing you all a great holiday season and hope you join me at jentrified on my next journey.

– Jenny Jen

Fuck your to-do lists forevs and evs and evs

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I have 16 stickies open on my computer. The bright, sunshiny colour has taken over my screen creating a chaos to what was meant to be order. At the bottom of my once-chic Macbook Pro are five open Word Documents, two Excel Spreadsheets (for invoicing), 10 emails, one PDF file and as if this isn’t a columnists conundrum enough for me, I have a notebook on my coffee table that is almost full, with endless lists of stories to pitch, partnerships to solidify, brainstorms for my upcoming book and daily musings. I am a writer. I write everything down, for every thought is fleeting and I need these lists and reminders to get shit done. My iCal should be enough. Fuck, my hot-little all-new Kate Spade 2014/2015 daily agenda should be enough – it fits in my Louis and is just perfection. And yet, I have info everywhere I look. Info reminding me of to do’s yet done. I sit here in a midst of these post-its and signs and scribbles and feel anything but organized. As if my life isn’t about what’s on the lists but instead about composing lists on their own.

And so, in this moment as I realize what needs to be done, I sit here wondering why it’s taking me so long. Because lets face it: You’ll never get shit done if you’re always one step (or 16+5+2+10+1) ahead.

Order. We need it to survive. Planning is all well and good but goals don’t get accomplished if we just look at what we’re seeking in the end. Goals are made of steps and in order to take said steps we need to take them one by one. And so, today is the day that I delete my post-its, close my open documents and replace my notebook and start fresh. Today is the day I work one project at a time and not trying to take on the world in but a day.

Sometimes it takes a realization like this to get the ball to actually start rolling. To start afresh. To throw out plans and ideas and concepts and centre when you feel anything but that. We want, we need, we aim for and we are disappointed when those wants/needs/aims get lost in the madness that is wanting, needing and aiming for too much.

Instead of making a note or setting a reminder, challenge yourself to do. To not ‘tomorrow’ whatever the project is, big or small. How fulfilling and at ease our lives would be if we’d just be and forego the planning and planning and planning and, yes, planning of what needs to be done and get done after each project that we have yet to do.

Success comes from structure. Surround yourself in it and soak up the sweet sensation of your blood, sweat and tears day in and day out. Delete, and instead do.

– Jenny Jen

The truth about your newfound bestie

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We’ve all been there. We’re sitting at home, glass of chilled wine in our manicured, dainty hands, distracting ourselves on Instagram, Twitter and the like, only to see those we considered our good friends, out together, without us in tow. You may hit one up, in the heat of the rejected moment, asking why you weren’t included, or hinting at an invite. You might just close your feeds altogether, with the out-of-site, out-of-mind thought process. You may generously pour more vino into your already filled cup, and get lost in your negative thoughts as to why you weren’t included.

We have an amazing way of putting ourselves down and something as simple as a group hashtag or seeing pics of those we were once close with, out and about without us could make us feel lonely, down, rejected, frustrated and more. And so, since this is ever-so-common and not all that avoidable (because lets face it, you’re not going to delete your networks, nor are you going to live under a rock) I thought I’d give you some food for thought so you can see the situation for what it is.

The meaning of the word friends has drastically changed as we meet more and more people through our social networks, mingling at events and see them out and about. We’re best friends with the guy we see once a week on Thursday nights at a get-together with cocktails aplenty, and apps alike. We are friends with that person that follows us on Twitter who we decided was seemingly-cool-enough to actually follow back, make plans with and spend some time together with. We are friends with that girl that we secretly hate, whose toned-bronzed-back we talk behind though we give her the double-cheek kiss and exclaim her name enthuasistically whenever we see her out and about. And we’re friends with those people who have been in our lives for a while. Who we go to when we’re down. Who we confide in. Who we share the inner workings of our ever so imaginative (and suspicious) psyches. The one who – even if we haven’t seen them in months, or even if we miss their birthdays – still feels like a solid rock in our lives. These, my friends, are our friends. Not the former, as listed above.

Friends, besties, bff’s, frenemies are words we throw around, nonchalantly that tend to do more damage than good. I joke around that you’re not close friends with someone if they don’t invite you to their birthday. Though friendships and how we meet people has changed over the years, it’s still key to value those that you call friends. How does a friend differ than an acquaintance? You speak on the phone. You make one on one plans. They are in the know when something monumental happens in your life (and they don’t find out via social networks.) They’ve helped you through navigate tough times and good times alike. They stay in contact whether you’ve been at the last string of soirees friends hosted, or not. They support you and they know of those closest to you. Friendship, like a romantic relationship, is more than a title. It comes with meaning, importance, growth and love. They are not fleeting. They don’t just cut you out without explanation. They respect you and are honest.

Before you get offended about being excluded, uninvited, and the like, check in with yourself to see who your friends actually are and take note of that before you naively reach out an olive branch.

– Jenny Jen