Reading Between The Lines

Us women are known to somewhat – how you say – “misread” situations.  When in a position or situation we tend to have an idea of what’s going on and run with that notion as we look for confirming beliefs, as opposed to seeing the full picture for what it is.  Case in point: We hear from a dude we may have once crushed on in the past, seemingly out of the blue and instead of thinking ‘He want’s me,’ we think ‘What does he want from me?’  We go on a date with a guy who – at the end of the date – doesn’t lean in for that anticipated first kiss and tell ourselves ‘He’s just not that into me,’ all whilst avoiding the very clear fact that your dinner date with him lasted four (or so) hours.  Or you might be single, spending all your days (and hours, and minutes) back and forth texting and emoticon sharing with another single guy, but since he never asks you out nor has he yet to initiate a plan, you assume he’s just messaging you to ‘Keep his options open,’ as opposed to maybe seeing that he’s just trying to get to know you before he makes that bold move.

Now I get it, it isn’t safe for us blonde, bronzed, babes to be optimistic if a situation clearly doesn’t call for it, but it is rather healthy to, not only perceive a situation in a level headed fashion, giving it the benefit of the doubt, but also be clear with our intentions and be confident enough to ask others about theirs, when feeling confused, uncertain or doubtful. Raise your hand for all the times you’ve left a date, only to dial up your bestie the second you walk in the door to try to decode what x, y and z meant on the date.  Intuitive though your best friend might be, she certainly is not in the head of the guy you were just with.  Ride the wave.  Feel him out.  Don’t analyze but instead grasp the situation with a big picture mentality.  If you reach a point where you generally feel confused or are aware that you might be on different pages, it’s better to read between the lines and – if you dare – ask him to be more clear.  If only we had a legend for what all those emoticon’s and looks, and endless banter really means; if only the matters when it comes to the opposite sex were that easy.

From my experience, like breeds like so if you start thinking the best of situations instead of the worst, if you start expecting good things instead of the bad, you’ve already done most of the work.  Reframe you dauntless darling, you.

– Jenny Jen

Photo Credit: Source.


Reading Through The Lines (and signs!)

Every word written. Every word uttered. Every single sentence strings through your subconscious as you try to determine why he *said this, why he said that, what it means and what you can do with this interpreted information (*feel free to interchange the word ‘said’ to ‘wrote’ you little texter/Facebook chat abuser you).

As a writer, I am very well aware that each word written I select has been selected with purpose; has unmistaken meaning to it. I choose words wisely, wary of how they might go interpreted, though fully aware of the easy-to-find double entendre’s, puns or references, should someone be looking for them. Which is why, I don’t dare give others the benefit of the doubt in doing the same. Therefore, the word choice of others is done with a specific purpose, if only I can read through the lines. They say things are right in-front of our very eyes, though little do we realize it. So how does one blonde figure out whether or not she’s making the proper analysis? How do we take off the blinders and see what is sitting in front of us?

By being realistic. By being attentive. By not making excuses and talking ourselves out of the obvious, because it just might be too good to be true. We often counter our own arguments that work in our favour, because we don’t want to be too hopeful. Hello, self protection. ‘No’, we think, ‘There’s no way he could be interested in me’ though he is showing you and telling you he in fact is. If only you could be that bold, bronzed, babe that you are and acknowledge it by being blunt.

Saying what we want and feel in a glass served straight up, isn’t a drink many of us care to down. So we play coy, and kinda conspicuous, leaving the meaning to which we want to project be open for unadulterated interpretation. Look closer. Pay mind to what could be on anothers’ mind. Sometimes things are so obvious, that we think nothing would be this obvious, so it can’t be. But it sure as hell can, kiddo. Don’t write anything off as confusion, or being hopeful and take everything for what it is. A sign. Right in-front of your very eyes that read on this very screen at this very second.

– Jenny Jen

Photo Credit: Source.

The Text that Never Existed

Drunken night out. Vodka soda lime in one hand, phone in the other. Your all-over-the-place fingers try to type out an all-over-the-place message all while you balance your drink in the overflowing short cup, taking stops to sip. Send. A minute passes. No response. Immediate regret. Delete sent message, put phone back in clutch. Pretend it never existed and hope that come morning, you won’t remember it did.

Technology and drinks don’t seem to be a cocktail well mixed. The tales I’ve heard are ones of deep concern for many. But no matter how much we wish we didn’t give in, sending a message that sends the wrong message in and of itself, unfortunately there is no pause button. Nor a rewind, nor a delete that can un-send what has already been sent. I’ve written about the two-drink maximum a handful of times, for two is the magic number for you to maintain your control (and likely class and calm to boot).

Let’s face it ladies, with unlimited libations comes inhibited actions. Words uttered that – though you might want to say them – you wouldn’t dare without the gentle push from the third drink. So, how can you prevent yourself from letting your inner wild child (cc: slut) from booty calling your entire address book?

Here are some need to knows:

1) Spring Cleaning: Ever scroll through your address book in your phone, only to see the name of each and every guy you’ve hooked up with starting from when you got your cell phone? Sure it is a pleasant reminder and sure you may tell yourself you’re ‘cool’ and ‘desirable’ to have sooo many peoples numbers in your phone, but chew on this: How embarrassing it is to wake up to remember that you sent a message to a dude you haven’t banged in six months (or more). Not only does it show him you’re in midst of an out-of-control night, but it also shows him that you still (for some reason) have his number stored in your phone. Save yourself from embarrassment by doing a spring cleaning of your phone. Like now.

2) Give it to a Friend (your phone that is): If you know you don’t want to have one of those ‘keeping count of your drinks’ kinds of nights and you know you’ll likely ‘be bad’ when it comes to restraining your dirty mind and fingertips from sexting your night away, have one of your fellow blonde, bronzed, twentysomethings toss your cell into her purse. Keep it on vibrate so she can tell you when you get a message, but with this pre plan you can actually focus on your night, your buzz and your day after sanity.

3) Let it Be: If you send a text, and you delete it after you send it, and you remember this when you wake up (though not certain exactly what you said), there’s no need to avoid your phone all day. There’s also no need to get yourself down on the fact that – though you regret it – he never wrote back. Nor do you need to apologize or explain yourself or try to ‘get yourself out of’ whatever it is you got yourself into. You’ve woken up after an early night in to a 2am message from a boy, your best friend has woken up after an early night in to a 2am message from a boy, we all have. Better to just let it be, accept that what’s done is done, and realize that they likely realize where you’re at. No need for words or excuses, those my friend only further drags out what shouldn’t have even went on in the first place.

Safe texting my ladies. Keep it clean.

– Jenny Jen