On Hypocrisy

Don’t ever let a man make you feel guilty for something he has done. For if he calls your character into question full well knowing he has taken the same action in the same situation, it says way more about his character than yours.

The one who points the finger is often the weaker of the two. The need to make a point and reacting even at all, is a childish action that shows such a deep-rooted fear. Those who blame and can’t just accept a situation for what it is (or what they interpret it to be) are the ones we should be happy from escaping from. If someone cuts you off, puts you down, or sends you some type of aggressive stab-of-a-message over Facebook private message or email, identify their obvious need for a sense of control on a situation. Your best bet is not trying to explain yourself, not showing them just how presumptuous they are and not advertising to them all the times they have done the same thing, which you never reacted to. Why not? Because as offended, hurt and worked up as you might be, it will likely fall upon deaf ears. This person has made up their mind, oblivious to their role in your actions they are criticizing.

Sometimes people need an excuse or a reason to write someone off. They look for ways to justify to themselves that they are in the right for cutting you from their lives, so they go on a hunt to try to validate themselves. But by doing so, they often miss the other side of the story. Your sincerity, your consideration, your grace. For you would never point fingers at them (as much as you might want to.) The high road is the only road us blonde, bronzed, twentysomethings will take. He fails to look at the reality: the times where he has done the exact same thing, if not worse. The wrongs he’s done, not taking you into consideration. And so, the culprit of this aggression will hopefully sooner or later, realize how quick they were to judge, and by then it will be too late. Their character is the one in question, not yours.

Don’t let others words or perception of you jolt your world. You can only control yourself. Bad and good will happen to us all, but the only thing we have control over is how we react. Make the right choice, lovely lady. After all, do you really want someone in your life who is willing to make judgments, not hear your side of the story, and not take ownership for doing the exact same to which they blame you about? Them cutting you off is a gift. You should thank them.

– Jenny Jen

Photo credit: Source.


Don’t Look Back

Don’t look back on what was, for it is not.

Don’t wish and want and wonder, when there’s nothing you can do to undo.

Don’t will to forget, when once upon a time it was your everything. But accept, it no longer is.

Don’t confront obvious triggers to these memories, opening wounds that are better left to heal.

Don’t give into your thoughts, but instead press pause on the reel and scenes which you play in your head for they will only make you hunger more monumental moments like those that are unattainable at this point.

Don’t allow feelings of hurt or ill will to get the best of you, for rising above will instead make you the best you you can be.

Sometimes we need a reminder. Sometimes we need to stop ourselves. Sometimes we need to allow ourselves to finally put ourselves first, and not worry about someone else and what their next move might be. The now is this moment, the same moment that – for some reason or another – this person has chosen to not be a part of. No speculating or hoping or whatever your all-over-the-place emotions are drawing you to will make much difference, because it is taking you out of the present. Embrace the now for the reality that it is, and you too can open up yourself to the reality that will be.

– Jenny Jen

Photo Credit: Source.

Pangs of Passions Past

You’re out with the girls. It’s one of those nights. You know, the type of night that you’ve been looking forward to and planning (somewhat) to a tee all week. Never been worn before outfit. Check. A bottle of previously chilled Kettle One and accompanied bottle of soda. Check. A walk in appointment at your friendly neighbourhood Blo Bar. Check. A pair of flats in your clutch as a ‘just in case’. Check. This night is not like all the others.

Instead, this is a night where you’re ready to break free from yourself. Goodbye worries. Goodbye thoughts of him. Goodbye checking your phone hoping that you’ll hear something, anything from him. Goodbye wondering why you haven’t heard from him, forcing yourself to push away your thoughts of him with another, and no plans to send a hopeful 2am sext. After all this time you’ve decided to finally let go of wasting your nights in hope and no longer are you willing to end them with incessant phone calls and tears and remnants of a broken heart cutting through the bottom of your empty glass. So, it’s no wonder that – when you’re standing at the bar and a guy leans in to talk to you – out of the corner of your hazel hued eyes, you see Him.

It’s a situation all too familiar. Just when we think we are over our exes, they always seem to come up right then and there to give us a run for our money. To test our strength. To challenge what we’ve convinced ourselves we no longer want and need. Your stomach instantaneously knots up. Your throat becomes choked. You catch yourself laughing even more so at the guy your talking to’s drunken banter, and that’s where you’ve lost the battle. Because you no longer are being the you you thought you were but instead are putting on a show in hopes the pangs of jealousy will capture his attention. And they do. And so, he walks over (looking better than you ever remembered) and asks to buy you a drink. He asks with those lips, looking at you with those eyes. And maybe this time will be different you tell yourself. And you raise a glass to hope and savour a sip of familiarity.

In an I-don’t-want-to-get-involved-in-this/figure your shit out fashion, the guy you were initially chatting with walks away. As does your chance to move on. Like the movie Sliding Doors suggests, dependant on our decisions we in turn end up leading lives with different fates. What if you gave someone else a chance? Yourself. How many doors have you let slide shut, oblivious to the fact that the one you’re knocking at is locked shut?

It’s called a breakup because it’s broken. How easy it is for us to remember who he was at the beginning. We often take that for granted, clinging on to every word and when time allows him to show us who he really is, we don’t believe it. And so we sit and wait, and wait for that guy who first swept us off our feet to come back. And when he doesn’t, we live our future in our past ruining opportunities and love that comes our way. Let go. Free yourself. Break free and lead a life that exists in the present, with efforts to create a future based on your wants, needs and compassion for yourself. You could have it so much better.

– Jenny Jen

Photo Credit: Source.