It’s the little things

jen kirsch, martin jensen

You are one of a kind. You have your quirks. You have characteristic traits that are you unique and exclusive to you as a being. These things that combine to make you the amazing young lady that you are –  flaws and all – are the key things that will draw in the right romantic partner for you.

I’ve spent most of my twentysomething in various long-term relationships (3 years, 3 years, 1 year, 10 months,) and none seemed to fit. I found myself turned off by my past partners flaws, scars and baggage and they to mine as well. There was always some sort of disconnect, and as I my thirtieth birthday, it’s clear to see that those relationships weren’t healthy. They were experience building, no doubt, but they wouldn’t have lasted.

So, what does a relationship expert think it takes to make a relationship last? Why the little things, of course. And big thanks to my man, for teaching me just that. Because not a day goes by where he doesn’t show me just how in love with me he is. And a relationship like this has no secret recipe. There are the basics: a mutual respect, a balance and a strong sense of authenticity. But above that it comes down to being attentive to your partners needs and wants and attending to those said needs and wants without being prompted.

Ask yourself: What puts a smile on my partners face? At the end of the day, we want our other half to be happy and our own happiness grows seeing them happy, right? So predict their wants. Does he love a certain type of beer that’s hard to find? Why not surprise him with a six pack in your fridge when you know he’s had a long day at work? Does he always put on his shirt inside out? Compliment that you love him for that. Do you work in the service industry? If he visits you, why not send him over his fave drink right away and make sure it’s constantly refilled?

Tune into the things your partner says. The foods, snacks and drinks they eat and crave. The songs that make them feel ‘happy,’ and induce their ‘game face.’ Take the time to seep in all of the little things that your partner values and cares about and then surprise him and reference those things often.

Not a day goes by since I met my man, that I haven’t told him how so very lucky and grateful I am to have him in my life. I never needed him and was never looking for someone, but he has been the best compliment to my life and much of that falls back on us having a balanced, mutually loving and respectful relationship where each day is another celebration to help one another smile.

The little things go a long way because these reassurances and needs he seeks are often hidden to everyone but you. By tending to them, you’re showing him that you listen, you remember, and you care.

– Jenny Jen

Photo: Jen Kirsch and Martin Jensen. El Doraldo Castitas Resort. Property of blondebronzedtwentysomething.


Reading Between The Lines

Us women are known to somewhat – how you say – “misread” situations.  When in a position or situation we tend to have an idea of what’s going on and run with that notion as we look for confirming beliefs, as opposed to seeing the full picture for what it is.  Case in point: We hear from a dude we may have once crushed on in the past, seemingly out of the blue and instead of thinking ‘He want’s me,’ we think ‘What does he want from me?’  We go on a date with a guy who – at the end of the date – doesn’t lean in for that anticipated first kiss and tell ourselves ‘He’s just not that into me,’ all whilst avoiding the very clear fact that your dinner date with him lasted four (or so) hours.  Or you might be single, spending all your days (and hours, and minutes) back and forth texting and emoticon sharing with another single guy, but since he never asks you out nor has he yet to initiate a plan, you assume he’s just messaging you to ‘Keep his options open,’ as opposed to maybe seeing that he’s just trying to get to know you before he makes that bold move.

Now I get it, it isn’t safe for us blonde, bronzed, babes to be optimistic if a situation clearly doesn’t call for it, but it is rather healthy to, not only perceive a situation in a level headed fashion, giving it the benefit of the doubt, but also be clear with our intentions and be confident enough to ask others about theirs, when feeling confused, uncertain or doubtful. Raise your hand for all the times you’ve left a date, only to dial up your bestie the second you walk in the door to try to decode what x, y and z meant on the date.  Intuitive though your best friend might be, she certainly is not in the head of the guy you were just with.  Ride the wave.  Feel him out.  Don’t analyze but instead grasp the situation with a big picture mentality.  If you reach a point where you generally feel confused or are aware that you might be on different pages, it’s better to read between the lines and – if you dare – ask him to be more clear.  If only we had a legend for what all those emoticon’s and looks, and endless banter really means; if only the matters when it comes to the opposite sex were that easy.

From my experience, like breeds like so if you start thinking the best of situations instead of the worst, if you start expecting good things instead of the bad, you’ve already done most of the work.  Reframe you dauntless darling, you.

– Jenny Jen

Photo Credit: Source.

Dress With Purpose

You spend upwards of six nights a week with your other half, doing the same old same old most of us coupled up cuties do after a work day. You both get home from work, strip yourselves from your power suits and into a more homey uniform (basketball shorts and an old t-shirt for him, a pair of sweats and one of his oversized t-shirts for you), and you play out the usual cooking dinner, catching up, cleaning, cuddling night time routine. And yes it’s the same old thing, although sometimes you have your date nights, but otherwise you don’t mind doing ‘the usual.’ In fact, there’s something kind of nice with coming home to your babe, knowing what to expect and playing out a routine. But there’s a little something that could change up the routine once in a while, a little something that – not only will get your partners attention, but – will make you feel better, a bit different, even a bit refreshed.

Changing into something different. That’s it. Instead of throwing on his tee, why don’t you change out of your work clothes, but into something else? Something you feel great in. It could just be a pair of skinny jeans and a fitted american apparel v-neck, it could be a little black dress that you can dress down by throwing your blonde lockes up into a messy bun, but I guarantee just by changing into something different, your mind will be refreshed.

Think about it, at the beginning of your relationship you constantly thought about what to wear when you’d go over to his place for dinner or when you’d host him at yours. Even when you wanted to dress the ‘dressed down’ part, you had each article of clothing picked out to a tee, all part of your master plan to win him over with your enchanting knack for style. We get so comfortable with our partner, that we often let go of that want and drive to dress up for him (something that, is more for us than him anyways, after all – when we dress in a way that we think makes us attractive, we naturally feel more confident, happy and at ease in our own skin.)

When he gets home to see you prepping a healthy dinner dish (and four side dishes) for dinner, as you listen to your favourite tunes, with the lights dimmed and tea-candles lit, in an outfit other than your go-to post-work uniform, he’ll be reminded of those feelings and that mystery of what you’d do next like he had when you started dating. Take time to make yourself feel great, instead of going on autopilot, and those around you won’t help but be able to seep in your greatness.

– Jenny Jen

Photo Credit: Source.