Lola

If you are fortunate to have or (have had) someone in your life who could simply make your day just by hearing their voice; just by being in their presence and just by feeling the love they have to give, then this piece is one for you. Finding someone like that who you look up to and aspire to be like, helps us put things into perspective. These people alone help us set a tone for how we want to live our own lives.

Today I remember the most amazing person who I’ve met up til this point in my life. Her name was Lola, she was my best friend and my grandmother (who I called ‘Bubbie’) and today she would’ve been a young 102 years old, though if she was here today, she’d say she was turning ‘Sweet 16,’ with a laugh and a confidence that you’d almost mistake for truth if you weren’t confronted with her petite frame and not so quick walking.

Lola had stark black hair, a killer smile and a lust for life. She didn’t pass away until age 96, her optimism and young-at-heartness a likely cause for such an extensive, full and complete life. Lola was the type of person who would light up a room. She saw the good in the bad, she didn’t complain, she just constantly put out love, attention and energy into every person who came her way and in return, she got it back. She did so not because she wanted anything back, and not because she had a need to be so giving and loving, but because it was her nature. It in turn made her happy. Made her feel of value. Made her eluminate in that way that she always did.

Up until she passed away she looked forward to those same sorts of things us twentysomethings look forward to: getting a great new outfit or wardrobe, events, birthday functions, hair appointments and manicures, girls nights (ok days) out, dinners with friends, catching up. She was one of those independent women Beyonce would sing about and made it her duty to get to places on her own.

She cooked, she baked, she gossiped. She’d joke, she’d banter, she’d flirt. My Bubbie Lola is a woman who touched my life in a way that no one else has. A novel I could write about her eccentricities, her experiences, her happy hours and beaching in tube tops and oversized glasses I often asked to even borrow to pull off her look (and magnetic appeal). She was always hopeful, she didn’t let her age hold her back and she would never leave anything unresolved. For if you resolve all of life’s minor issues and concerns that come your way in the moment, you don’t have the time or the negative energy to hold onto feelings which turn into grudges.

Today on her birthday I remind myself of the daily letters she’d mail to me at camp, her tone of voice, her smile, her energy, the way she’d call me the love of her life, and I smile knowing that I had the luxury of having her as my best friend and how fortunate I am to have had experienced such a great love so early on, in an unconditional and innate way of being that will last me for years.

– Jenny Jen

Defining Dates

You’ve been dating a guy for a while now, and things are going pleasantly smoothly post the initial honeymoon phase. You’re beginning to realize that this is no longer just a fleeting thing, and once assured by him that he feels the exact same way, you make it official. So the question that begs to be asked is, what day is the anniversary?

Is it the first time you ever hooked up? Your first date? What if you were ‘dealing with’ one another prior to the first date? Is it the day you have the ominous Talk? Is it the day that you felt feelings? Is it the first day he sent you a message on J-Date/Facebook/Plenty of Fish?

I’ve often wondered how other couples navigate the decision of The Anniversary. To set one is to create a future milestone of sorts. To tally up the years you’re together. To have an excuse to dress up, celebrate and share sentiments of we-isms. Some couples celebrate it monthly, others perhaps annually, and some celebrate the minor milestones such as the six month bench point. The sort of do or die month before future talk really begins.

For me, I’ve found that the start of the story is the day in which everything begins. Even if you are both still dating others at the time, even if it’s not the best date because something else is taking away from it. As soon as the start button is pressed, unbeknownst to us at that moment, the wheels are turning and it’s on that particular day in history that we begin to differentiate this person from just another notch under our belts. Instead he is a guy who we want to proudly present by our side, our other half.

– Jenny Jen

Photo Credit: Source.

On This Date Last Year

Anniversary’s. This word isn’t always positive. It isn’t always negative. It reflects a specific date that each year is revisited, signifying whatever it is that occured on that specific date. Wedding, first date, death, big purchase, whatever it is, this date is one that you remember for whatever reason.

I don’t know if it’s because it’s officially October, the begining of a new month, or because I keep hearing everyone boust about their Nuit Blanche plans, but I specifically remember this date last year to a tee (perhaps because the events which take place are so reminiscent of Halloween, people talking for days about Nuit Blanche this and Nuit Blanche that.)

I woke up on this day last year and wanted a change. The first available and least drastic thing to do was to head over and pay Anya, my hair colourist, a visit and change my golden blonde lockes to a deep chocolate cherry hue. Within a few hours I had shed my past woes and felt as though here I was, the new me, ready for a fresh start. With the colour of the dye that washed down the sink, I too left everything behind.

It’s an interesting thing when you have an inner strength from within to start making changes. It’s as if others around you are silently notified, as if your inner confidence radiates. And that it did. I heard from someone on this night, as they wobbled around the city suddenly an art connoisseur, experiencing Nuit Blanche. I was out with close friends, having a drink, wondering if anyone would even recognize me. And out of nowhere, this guy did. We had once dated and for some reason or another, this was the day he expressed his want to get me back.

At the time that I heard from him, I didn’t look at the day as monumental by any means. In fact, if anything, it was the day I spontaneously decided to rid myself of my trademark blonde hair. But now, as I am confronted with this date, I can look back and realize how life changing it was. I can also look back to my memories of that day. The re-birth, the cool in the air, the works, and look at the me sitting here today writing these words, and easily see what has changed since then.

What days stick out in your head that you can recall the happenings for so precisely? What days, a year later, have an effect on you, stopping you in your tracks forcing you to remember what it was and to see now what it signified.

If only we could live our lives in reverse.

– Jenny Jen