You see what you want to see


You see a couple.  They’re holding hands.  They’re whispering sweet nothings in one anothers ear, between catching kisses and looking at one another in awe.  You can feel the chemistry between them as your eyes go from them as a whole, to their smiles, to the smiles in their eyes, to their intensity.  You start to feel an energy similar to that of jealousy heat through your body and perhaps, a pang of knowingness as you remember a time when you were the them you’re looking at.

And yet, these two people you’re looking at and comparing your single-self to – unbeknownst to you – met last night at a dingy bar after way too many drinks (the number which no one knows) and they’ve been spending the morning in the afterthoughts of their buzz, that’s still going through their blood stream.  They can’t remember who kissed who first or even how they got home from…where did they meet again?  And yet, this sight in which you see, which you so arguably have misinterpreted, has effected you and your heart and your mind and your lack of self worth so very much, to say your day has become ruined is an understatement.

Or perhaps this seemingly seductive couple is in an abusive relationship, the gent going overboard in love and attention to make up for the verbal and physical abuse he drowned her in the night prior, her soaking it all in so she can continue telling herself she is loved, as she the memories of last night vanish.

If you were out for lunch with a group of girlfriends and witnessed this couple in front of you, I bet you’d all see something completely different from one another.  I’m certain you’ve watched another couple with someone before, as you analyze and guess what ‘their story’ might be.  And when we pass naieve judgment on others we often play a role in their story.  We compare our past or current situations to them; we – at times – yearn and want to be them.  A moment I’ll never forget is, around midnight one summers eve, driving home and just before a stop sign noticing a twentysomething blonde and her boyfriend kissing goodnight by her car in a true Hollywood kiss.  I was about 21 at the time and just came out of my first serious relationship, after three years of bliss.  The next day her house was cautioned off with yellow tape and media and police swarmed her house; her boyfriend was being accused of her disappearance.

Welcome to the world of perception where we see things based on our current and past situations.  Instead of looking at others, judging and taking action in your own life based on your comparisons (I think I ended up texting my ex that night telling him I might be making a mistake – caught in the love buzz of another couple – even though I knew in my heart and mind that he wasn’t for me and had spent hours and many a conversations deciding to end things) realize you aren’t seeing truths but are instead falling for story lines in your own imagination.  Your actions shouldn’t be provoked by your perception of others, because we tend to see what we want to see.  We think our eyes see truths, but that’s often not the case.  Stay true to yourself, stay strong and know that things work out how they’re meant to, if only you let things play out.

– Jenny Jen

Photo credit: Source.


One thought on “You see what you want to see

  1. Pingback: The 11 Best Dating Articles We’ve Read This Week |

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