You meet up with the guy you’re sorta, kinda hooking up with. The scene is the bar. It’s a night on a weekend. He’s there with some friends as are you and you all do the intro’s and get a table together. He then goes out to grab a smoke and is laughing with another chick. All good, you offer to grab shots, everyone is having a great time. Especially the girl chatting with the guy you’re meant to be rendez vousing with. Sure you can walk up to him and claim your possession, or you can take the high road, see the situation for what it is and remove yourself from it. Especially if you seem him sipping the kool-aid and inviting her to sit with you and the grouping of your friends, as he pulls a chair up for her.
Us twentysomething girls know for certain that situations such as these are bound to happen. We’re all so casual in how we date, who we sleep with, in showing how interested we are, in not having any sort of talk about what’s going on, that we shouldn’t be all that surprised when a guy we’re hooking up with seems to hit on another girl in front of our very face. Ok sure, it doesn’t feel great, because hello! you’re right there and aren’t you enough? And sure it’s sort of embarassing because you’ve both been bragging to your friends about one another, giving them the run down before y’all met up. But I say whatever. These things happen and lucky for you, at least it’s happening infront of your face so you can see how he really is.
In a world where we can often get what we want with the touch of a button, same goes for how we approach people and others and relationships. The girl he’s talking to likely is just an innocent bystander and is undeservant of your disappointment. And if pretty boy caught your attention, you really can’t blame her if he caught hers too.
If you see fit afterthefact and want to check in and see if you’re on the same page, or why he did that in front of you, by all means go for it. Shoot him a private message on Facebook or a text in a classy way. Say you enjoyed him, were liking where things were going but you were thrown off by his actions. Who know, he might not be aware that he even offended your cool-ass, laissez fair self. If he doesn’t write back, then that’s all you need to just keep doing what you’re doing and moving forward. If he does, good on you for both of your great communication.
In any case, when you’ve only gone on a date or two with a guy and things are ambiguous, don’t take his actions or attention towards others personally. It has nothing to do with you and all to do with him. Chin up and dust off your shoulders.
– Jenny Jen
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