“Oh, I sleep just to dream her
Beg the night just to see her
That my only love should be her
Just to lie in her arms”
– Dave Matthews Band
For those of us who have been dealt the unfortunate hand of loss; loss of a parent, loss of a sibling, loss of a friend or loss of a life partner, we know all too well what we would give to just have one more moment with them. To utter goodbyes, to have and to hold, to study every part of them just so we can remember, ever after. Losing someone to death is such a heartbreaking aspect of life, which we learn can be such a helpless state of being. Yet how we carry on the loves that we’ve losts’ legacy, is how we can gain control, in a situation where we feel we have anything but.
At times, when sleep becomes me, I am granted with the presence of my late mother. Her voice, her appearance and that grand feeling of innate love that only one could feel towards a maternal figure. And in those moments, I want not to wake up. Cherished those dreams are, those gifts of a moment, where I have no control over when they arise and when they escape. To dream of one lost is a great way to revise feelings that we often push away; to cope with an understanding that they will always be a part of us, whether in our subconscious or more realistically, in our conversations with others and pictures and videos once taken during more uplifting of times.
To sleep to dream is not a form of escape, but a form of coping. Be grateful of what dreams may come, and allow yourself to feel so wholly; so completely.
– Jenny Jen