So often we are caught saying that we won’t do x again. X being whatever it is that isn’t giving us the results that we want. X being something that makes us feel worse, rather than better. X could be everything from seeing a toxic guy, an ex, not standing up for yourself, spending to much money on a night out, skipping workouts or whatever comes to mind for you. But where we go wrong by saying we won’t let x happen again, is that our lovestoned-selves often forget the bad once we’re out of that low-feeling moment, making us not keep true to our word because we forgot it really ever was uttered.
Pain hurts and so, after the fact, we often forget about it, because to be honest with oneself is to hurt oneself. Many of us aren’t strong enough to make changes to better ourselves, because change can be scary. It can be uncomfortable. Our thoughts tell us that it is easier to stay in a not-so-favourable situation, rather than take the steps and strength needed to walk away from it. Well my in-denial friends, it’s time to wake up and smell the…torture. You are in control of your own life and only you can make the changes necessary to make it one worth living; one worth celebrating. What is holding you back? Who is holding you back? What is that one thing/person/situation that you feel you have no control over?
The first step is to acknowledge it. Once you are aware, you’ll be able to make changes. Easier said then done, especially if we are prone to lock our sadness up in a heart-shaped box. So here’s what I suggest: write about it. Yes, that’s right – dear diary, old school styles. When you write in a moment of anger, not only will that distract you from buying into your thoughts, causing you to react, but also, it will allow you to look back overtime to see if anything has changed. Now it doesn’t have to be in a journal, nor does it have to be in a notebook of any sort. Instead, you can save a note, titled with the days date and enter your feelings into the ‘note’ section on your smartphone. This is more readily available to you and the next time you get worked up over the x factor, you can realize that it’s simply history repeating itself; that if the other person or thing won’t change, then it is up to you to take a different step.
We all act on auto-pilot, seemingly oblivious to the role we are playing in our own demise. Open your eyes, take note of your feelings and what triggers the negative ones and look back on your words to ensure you don’t put yourself in the positions that you do, again.
– Jenny Jen
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