Oh how I loathe those who play the guilt card like none other. For when someone makes me feel guilty, it only makes me want to run further from them. Lets face it: friends shouldn’t have to justify and defend themselves to other friends. In fact, my closest relationships and bonds are with other equally-as-busy individuals who, don’t question me and who don’t get questioned by me. We can just pick up where we last left off, even if a month (or more) has gone by.
Today I was chatting with my cousin, who I hadn’t talked to since likely the last family get together. And yet our convo was easy, natural. Had a good flow. There was no ‘you said you’d call me back the other day and didn’t.’ There was no condescending comment about either of us being too busy for the other. And so, our convo was perfect in every way because neither of us had to justify or defend ourselves.
Do you find yourself being constantly questioned and criticized by a certain friend or two about not being able to be at their beck and call at all times? Are you currently in a tiff with a buddy who decided to cut you out because they are taking your lack of time for them personally? Relationships are meant to be easy. They are meant to have a free flow. If we were to constantly take others actions personally, we will never survive this thing we call life, for we’d constantly be looking for confirming believes that we aren’t “good enough.”
Have you and a friend not chatted for a while, for no other reason than that life has just gotten in the way of things? Instead of being difficult the next time they reach out, putting up a wall or making them feel guilty, instead invite them back into your life with open arms and nothing but a smile on your bronzed, beautiful face. People are attracted to those who make them feel better, not worse. Call that friend you haven’t chatted with in a while, go grab a drink or a brunch, hey – even catch up on their happenings via their Facebook page and show your support of what they’ve been up to by clicking some ‘likes’ and commenting on that which they’ve been sharing. But do so in a supportive way, not a condescending one. To be a friend is to be understanding and compassionate. Instead of honing in on potential envy or feelings of being pushed aside, bask in the beauty of having such amazing friends who are on the go and busy with their lives. And when the timing is right and resentment isn’t in your way, make time to see them, chin held high baby girl.
– Jenny Jen
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