We are all such multifaceted, talented young ladies. A simple look at my group of lady friends and I see women who are ready to take over the world. Bright. Ambitious. Successful. Beautiful in all senses of the word. So it is no wonder being all these great things we are also great at fooling ourselves. At telling ourselves stories to make things easier. At putting up a blind eye because, well, as Woody Allen says “Why ruin a good story with the truth.” The problem with this mentality, with this taking the easy way out, is that we lose sight of that inner strength and wisdom we pride ourselves on. That we’re known for.
Case in point: You ask the guy you’re seeing in advance if he wants to coordinate a sleepover and to rendez-vous later in the eve (note: it’s a Saturday,) and he says he can’t commit to plans right now. This my lady is exactly what it sounds like. So no excuses, no self talk about not wanting to be a nag changes the words he is actually saying. What he is saying is you are not a priority, and he wants to leave his options open. If you tell yourself otherwise, if you still see him, shame on you. The guy who is into you, who is rip-your-clothes-off attracted to you will book you in. Will forego hitting up a late night diner, post evening. Will forego hitting up an afterparty. He’ll be at his place (or yours) or will grab you in a cab, bright eye and bushy tailed. Extra points if your playmate leaves his plans early because he can’t bare to wait but another moment to get you, well, bare.
Exhibit B: Facebook issues. You started seeing someone (again) and request him as a friend on Facebook and he fails to accept your friend request. Perhaps he tells you he knows how you are and doesn’t want you to be bothered by past wall posts, but the truth baby girl, is that he likely doesn’t want others to know you’re back in contact. You seeing past posts and getting worked up is your problem, not his. He might be ashamed for coming back to you. Hey – he might even feel weak, even though you’re the babe that you are. But if he is not willing to do something as minor as accept a friend request, he doesn’t deserve anything as major as your time, energy and body.
I can go on and on (and on) with examples, but truth is we know it as it’s happening. We might write it off and say we don’t care. And who knows, maybe the dude is self protecting and putting up a wall to not build an attachment, but what it comes down to is knowing your worth. Even if you’re not currently looking for The One, even if you just want to have fun with someone you know down to the core, know that we teach people how to treat us by what we are willing to put up with. You deserve the world, beauty, so don’t accept anything less than.
– Jenny Jen
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