In times of loss

I’m so in awe.  I’m in awe of people’s love, compassion and ability to support.  I’m in awe of human connection, chemistry, fulfillment.  I’m in awe of friendshipness and the innateness we have to come together and to be there for one another.  I’m in awe of life and grateful to have breath.

Today is the birthday of my angel, my late mother Anita Kirsch.  She passed away almost ten years ago and I decided, as creepy or judged as it might be, to update my Facebook status wishing her a happy birthday; in her honour.  To my surprise, within a minute of updating my status, I began getting notifications to my BlackBerry of people ‘liking’ my status and in some way I can’t describe it fulfilled me.  It allowed me to see others are out there.  Others have recognized in one way or another that today, May 4th is one I struggle through.  Others have shown me without using any words, that they acknowledge this and are there.

I’m so impressed with those who I have chosen to have in my life.  I feared and loathed today, in a way many of us do when dealing with anticipation, and I am just so overly shocked that today turned out completely opposite as I’d expected it.  So for those of you who have sent your kind words, who have shared memories of my mom, who have reached out, or who have even clicked “like,” thank you.  Thank you for being here.  Thank you for your strength.  Thank you for your support.  I’m so in awe at how we all come together in times of loss.  For my readers who have experienced loss, never doubt or resist the value that is social networking; that is your voice.  We can never expect people to know our sadness or our need, without expressing it.

As I’m about to sign off and head over to visit my mom for the afternoon, a pink bouquet in tow, I decided to reach for my phone and call one of my closest male friends who is blessed with having the same birth date as my mom.  As he answered the phone and I enthusiastically shared my wishes to him, his response caught me off guard, and put the cherry on top of my day.  He said “And happy birthday to your mom!  I saw your status and know this is a special day for you.”  And with those words, my heart filled with admiration.  With love.  With awe.  With hope.  But mostly, my heart just filled; something I thought would not be possible again.

I Tweeted today: “how sad it is how appreciative we become of things or people only once lost.” All I can say from what I’ve learned through my loss is be appreciative in the now; in the moment.  Show that gratitude, and never take it for granted.

“We’re here for a good time, not a long time, so have a good time, the sun can’t shine everyday.”

– Jenny Jen

Photo credit: Source.

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3 thoughts on “In times of loss

  1. My dad said the same quote to me after we lost someone we loved recently. A few months later we lost another. It is incredibly sad and I send you my best wishes, Jen. I, too, have been pleasantly surprised by how much support pours in from friends when you lose someone. I hope today that you feel your mother’s presence in the sun shining down on you, filling you with the warmth of her love.

  2. really like your post , lost both my parents so know exactly what you are feeling and do get comfort by going to visit them too .((((((((((())))))))))

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