The case of the vanishing man

Better to have loved, have a conversation about it and then lost, then to never have loved at all.

There is something to be said for a man (see how I didn’t say “boy” there) who tells it like it is.  Whether you’ve only been on but one (really good) date or have been seeing each other for a month or more.  A boy becomes a man when – if he decides to end things for one reason or another – he can just let a girl know what’s up.  No silent treatment.  No peacing out.  No recieving your text, Facebook message and missed call with nothing but birds chirping.  But instead, fills you in with some hard, cold honesty of the ‘It’s not you, it’s me’ kind.

Maybe he was seeing someone before you, wasn’t willing to commit to her, and they ran into one another and thought they’d give it another go.  Maybe he ran into an ex, and though he has had a great time with you, their history and feelings lie deeper than you’d ever know, something you can’t compete with no matter how great a catch you are.  Maybe he just lost interest.  No matter how detailed or simplistic the situation might be, when a guy let’s you know, he has saved you and him both from drama, confusion and dragging his name through the gutter.  Because we all know, when wondering whether or not he’s just that into you, we gossip and yenta and chat up a storm with friends.  We all know we contact him at least once.  We all know he has burned a bridge when he just vanishes into thin air.  One day we have him, texting us non-stop like none other, the next he is deleting us from Facebook, Twitter, the works (over dramatic, let’s not think we actually care to stalk post you peacing, boys.)

So what is to be said for the vanishing man?  The man who can’t be authentic and tell it like it is?  What is to be said is he has likely done this before and got away with it scot-free.  He has probably not learned the behind the scenes thing that is chatter and banter of negative stay-away-girls reputation making.  He is the kind of guy who takes the easy way out, who can’t be legit, who cares not about others but cares more so about avoiding confrontation.  I don’t know about you my lady, but that is not a boy I want to be wasting my time with.  See the boy who vanishes as a gift, for he is doing you a favour by showing you who he really is.  He has saved you from him.  Mazel tov.

And what about the yin to his yang?  The guy who takes a few minutes to compose a text or something informing you that something as come up and he’s closing the story of you and him?  Well he is a gentleman.  He needs not keep up a facade and instead is made with hints of courtesy, authenticity, strength and respect.

– Jenny Jen

Photo credit: Source.

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