How to move on when your past is in the present

I’m usually not for hanging out with exes.  I believe the past is in the past, take whatever lesson you learned from that experience, and move forward without them in your life, so as not to complicate the gift of the present.  As of late, however, I’ve changed my thought process to an extent.  I feel that you after time has passed and you’ve both moved on, ideally through another relationship, that you can develop an interesting sort of friendship, so long as you’re both single; so long as you don’t bring up past wrong doings and hurts and times better forgotten.

If you read my work religiously, you know I am all for forgiving wrongdoings, but only if you aren’t going to make your partner pay later.  So basically, don’t forgive someone if you’re just going to throw it in their face at every opportunity.  The same goes for developing a new friendship of sorts with an ex.  It’s ok so long as no ones emotions are involved; so long as no one is getting hurt.

I guess what I’m saying is you need to Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless Mind yourself every time something triggers a negative thought; a negative memory.  We are adults.  We are strong.  What we learn in having to deal with a heartbreak and heartache is just how strong and in control we really are.  Take care of your feelings first.  Realize the power you have over your mind and execute it accordingly.

An ex likely knows you down to the core, despite whatever growth or changes you’ve made in your life since the time of you and them.  A part of them likely has a love for you and you’ve likely gone through a plethora of pleasant times before the going got tough.  Just know that we can’t hold onto the past forever and with that in mind, act accordingly, worrying less about judgment from disagreeing others and more about taking care of number one.  Oh, that’s you, beauty.

– Jenny Jen

Photo credit: Source.

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