“I have the perfect guy for you!” a friend of yours exclaims, even though you’re not – what you would call – “looking” for a guy. You smile and nod as you listen to her list off all the traits that you and her both know you appreciate in a mate. Well, why not? you think with the I-have-nothing-to-lose mind-state. And so, as you say a not-so-convincing “sure,” that is the exact same time you have more to lose then you once thought.
Though it’s pleasant and somewhat easy to act on a set-up, it also can be quite awkward and unfair, mostly for the matchmaker who becomes a monkey in the middle of sorts. If the date goes well, they feel that buzz of excitement that you both do and are in on this little success story. But if the next date or those following don’t add up, chemistry not making but a cameo, your friend ends up feeling disappointed and likely gets caught having to explain the what went wrongs to the other who you’re just not that into. A part of you – the sweetheart that you are – might also feel guilty about writing off a friends friend, making you drag it on longer than you would if he was just some dude you met at a bar or at a networking event.
So how does a single girl fare when she is offered up “the perfect guy?” By doing these two things first: Asking the matchmaker if they are considering setting you up with him because she actually thinks your personalities will compliment one anothers, and by telling her that by playing matchmaker, she needs to put thought into the fact that it might not work out and not to go through with it if that could end up making her feel awkward around either or both of you down the road.
Should you take your friend up on her offer, be sure to trust your instincts and do what’s best for you. Be a lady by giving it an honest shot and by cutting it off as soon as you’re not so into it so no one gets hurt. But never let your guilt or loyalty to your friend override your own feelings and actions. You are in control of your own life and the sooner you realize it the sooner you can live it.
– Jenny Jen
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