Like the who gets custody of which restaurants, and tea shops, and friends, and the works. Because let’s be real here, there is always one person who wins and one who loses when a breakup becomes them. Because as chilled and as cool and as lets-pretend-THAT-didn’t-happen as we want to be, people always are forced to take one side or another; people are always affected, try to avoid it as they might.
It goes a little something like this: outside friends remain pleasant to both sides at the beginning, but then slowly gravitate towards one of the two. They see things, hear things and just naturally leave the other behind, balancing not being a twentysomethings’ forte.
And so is what is to be expected when things end. We should expect and accept change, and what is change without a little discomfort, a little realization, a little growth? To go through an experience such as heartbreak and then the inevitable heartbreak, it is usually quite easy to observe who your truest and closest and most loyal are. And, as time goes on, those left in the past won’t matter much anymore; won’t have an affect on you in any which way. Time, a gift we take for granted.
But what if this shared connection is one you depend on for some sort of work? For some sort of service? Is it right for them to choose sides? To no longer have you as a client? To just do work for one or for the other? This my friends, is a situation that’s just a little more foggy, just a little more grey, just a little more bridge-burning and borderline tip-toeing for the monkey in the middle.
The answer: Approach the situation to get what you need, daring not to mention the aforementioned. Stick to business, be the class act that you are, get’r done, head held high, et al. We often put in so much thought (and by so much, I mean too much,) into what this person caught in the trifecta of your breakup might be thinking. But little lady, you’re giving yourself way too much credit (no offense.) People care about their work, getting their jobs done and about themselves. Sure they might make mention to your former flame that they saw you, but all the more motivation for you to be your best, drama-free, elegant little self, non?
– Jenny Jen
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