You go to put on some bling to up the ante on just an ordinary look, to make it more Saturday night than Saturday afternoon, when you realize your two newest, go-to necklaces are M to the I to the A. “Fuck,” you think as you play a montage in your head of taking them off the morning after, giving them to the guy you spent the night with to put in his jacket pocket (because god forbid someone see’s you wearing that much sparkle on an overcast Monday morning.) Spotted: the walk of shame. No, you don’t do shame well. But look at you now, floating in it. Though it feels like drowning.
The leave behind is something us women tend to do when we want to see a guy again but don’t have the certainty that we will. We leave a little something on his dresser/in his car/by his kitchen sink to either: make our mark so he re-calls us and then calls us to give it back, or so – just in case we don’t hear from him – we can call on him “fetching” our lost and found item using it as an excuse to create contact.
But in our latter twentysomethings when we need not leave anything behind but our dignity, it becomes somewhat unfortunate when that guy has something valuable of yours. Something that holds sentiment that you can’t really shrug your shoulders about and write off.
So now what? How can you save face and call upon this guy (which you haven’t heard back from) to get your stuff back, without looking borderline stalkeresque? How can you message him if you messaged him a bit ago to make plans and never heard from him?
I usually say that it’s not worth getting back and that is the best money you can spend because trying to not look like a crazy bitch is, well, priceless. But when it’s a piece or an item that has that value I spoke of earlier, you’re going to have to be as authentic as possible and let the dude know what up.
My, it’s such a shame when you can be so sly and do the leave behind with purpose, with intention, but to accidentally forget something is a rookie move. Same goes for accidentally taking something with you, like a phone charger perhaps which you’re known to travel with in your over sized ysl bag. If only you had your head on straight. If only it didn’t appear like you were playing games when you full well weren’t.
I think at this stage, if someone has something of yours or you take something by mistake and you need or they need it back, just let them know in a no pressure/we-don’t-have-to-even-run-into-each-other kind of way. Put the method of exchange and the way they wish to respond in their hands. How they respond will say much about their character and perhaps even their thoughts towards you. And hey, maybe, just maybe, this was all meant to happen for a reason and could even lead to a round two? Too soon?
– Jenny Jen
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