There is something to be said for beginning to date someone whose ex-girlfriend is a total babe. His value suddenly goes up ten fold. The hotter she is, the more attractive he becomes. The law of attraction works in such a way that we match ourselves with those who are on a similar level as us. We exchange power for beauty (a la Hugh Hefner and his blonde, bronzed, twentysomethings), good looks for equally as good looks (a la Brangelina) and we typically tend to pair ourselves with those who are in our league in one way or another.
When his ex is a looker, it makes us wonder what he’s got going on that we have yet to learn about, which would attract such a banging broad to him in the first place? If he caught her attention, he must be a ten in one way or another. If she was willing to associate herself with him, as her other half, and at one point or another was willing to share their tale of love on her Facebook and social media forums (the social equivalent of ‘screaming on top of a mountain,’) then surely he is worthy of our attention. Thus, he becomes more intriguing. More mysterious. More of a puzzle for us to jigsaw our way through one piece (read: date, text, Facebook chat convo) at a time. The idea of him becomes more captivating when we know he does well for himself with the ladies.
I’d much rather a man who has had his fair share of experience (training) with plenty of pretty little things, than one who doesn’t know any better. Beautiful exes, a toast to you for paving the way! (L’chaim.)
But not all you blondies agree with me I’m sure, because the idea of an ex often comes alongside that not so sexy negative emotion we call jealousy. Jealousy has a way of working to ones disadvantage. When you become jealous, you lose site of your own value. You let the stories that you tell yourself about his ex take over your mind. Most ladies tend to see exes of their new man as threats. They worry that they might not compare to this catch. Honey, if they were that threatening, they’d still be with your new guy, no? Instead of being jealous of her (or them), instead of envying her looks, her confidence, her je ne sais quoi, why not realize that the better his ex was, the more potential he might have as a mate? We know a strong woman wouldn’t put up with much, so perhaps she has done her job at training him well. Perhaps this just shows you that he has great taste and doesn’t settle for anything but the best. And you my little foxy lady you, are now on his radar. What a score.
– Jenny Jen
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