We are all unique. We all have our quirks. Some might deter others from forming a relation of sorts with us, others might flock to these traits. When it comes down to friendships and relationships that stand the test of time, it comes down to loving these people in spite of these qualities. You might find them endearing, you might find theme completely opposite to you, but somewhere in your heart and head you know you are the perfect fit and don’t take their ways of being personally.
When looking at those I am closest with, I have such a deep sense of connectiveness. Things work best when they need not be explained; when you can just be and others understand. When you’ve had the opportunity and pleasure of getting to know someone, you really know them down to the core. You can predict their responses to things, finish their sentences, know how late they’ll be to the dinner party you’re hosting (cough, cough) and basically understand it all. When we establish strong connections with others, they basically put up with our shit (and us theirs) with a smile on their face. But there is something off putting, a disconnect of sorts, when you have to explain your dry, sarcastic jokes, when you have to justify your decisions, when you have to defend your actions.
The thing with the types of people to whom you share a genuine connection with is that there’s a mutual unwritten understanding. They allow you to just be you in spite of your flaws. They allow you to just be you in spite of the fact that they feel differently or don’t agree with you. They can go for months at a time without seeing you, but come alongside a comfort and knowingness that your friendship is still intact, still strong, still meaningful. They get what matters most to you and find out a way to humour you.
The friendships that work best are the ones where you can be authentic. Perhaps in the new year you can look at those in your life, writing off the one’s who lead to more sadness than happiness, who lead to more faking it than just being.
– Jenny Jen
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