By the time we have reached our golden twentysomethings, we have come to learn what we lust, love and loath about fellas who make our hearts a flutter. Whether it be the physical, the mental or the style to which we fall for, plenty of us can account for a having ‘a type.’ You know, that certain kind of guy who we play out over and over, relationship through relationship until we, no doubt, find The One.
Have you ever taken a look back to darker days and made a connection of sorts between your ghosts of lovers past? Perhaps you know the type you go for with certainty, if not surely your friends can peg him based on all they’ve seen come and go. Perhaps you will only date guys in which you can categorize in this nature, unwilling to venture into the unknown (aka: settling.) Perhaps your type is so specific so that your boyfriends that once were all look the same. Through going through all the experiences we’ve had up til now (cue: a few long-term serious relationships, some fun party girl experimental days and heartbreak and longing and then healing) many of us know what characteristics, traits, patterns, habits and chemistry works best for us, and what makes for the type (the one) we ultimately need to be our other half.
Elders of ours often say we are too picky. We should expand the horizons and be more open-minded with who we date, how we date and not shut out an opportunity for such superficial reasons, but to that I would strongly disagree. We only have one life to live, so it goes. Which means, we deserve the best of the best. We deserve our version of prince charming and we can see him in our heads. So what if we date someone who has the same name as our ex? So what if we date someone who is a friend of our ex? So what if we are finding ourselves falling for the same fellow over and over, if that is what you know you need and have learned makes you happy, so be it. They always say ‘trust your instincts.’ And we know better than most that if something feels off it probably is. So give type casting your all, while being aware of what qualities attract you to another.
Same goes for how you are. Often when two people start dating, they look at the actions of their new-found flame to figure out whether or not to become ‘official’ and monogamous. This means that – if you’re the type of girl who enjoys a good hand hold/butt tap/peck in public, then so be it and own it without tiptoeing around it. Some ladies have a sort of je ne sais qui about who they are as a girlfriend, which sets the tone of what type of relationship the two partners will have. Since it is widely known that like breeds like, you likely will attract someone who has the same sort of wants as you. Don’t think that you can’t hit two birds with one stone in setting your standards as high as you want them to be. And if you have but a chance once all is well in good with your new gent, assess what commonalities you have with his past girlies to see what role you play to him.
– Jenny Jen
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