The Dating Chameleon

People watching is a hobby of many of ours, no? We look, we judge, we make silent stories about others and we smile to ourselves and then go on until distracted by another. For those of us twentysomethings who can’t help but notice other couples, we often judge these two strangers likeness, compatibility and whether they are a hot couple (or whether one of the two is much better looking.) And so, through our couple watching observations, it’s easy to see how alike many couples are.

You see the hipster guy with his just-as-hipstery hand-holding partner, you see that Hermes belt wearing, Louis Vuitton purse holding lady arm-in-arm with her GQ-esque man and it all makes sense. They say like breeds like and I agree with that whole heartedly, but I also think that we are all dating chameleons, somehow adapting our look to blend with that of our partners. Before you tie your Hanky Panky’s in a knot, realize that I’m not saying we consciously change ourselves to confirm how we think our partner wants us to dress and who he might want us to be, but I am definitely saying that subconsciously we do just that.

Look through old albums (aka your Facebook) and observe how similarly you were dressed to ghosts of partners past. With each one you may have had a bit of a different style; a bit of a different look. Perhaps this change was their influence, a learned influence they had through compliments and through sharing what their likes and dislikes were, or perhaps it was because you didn’t want to overdress/underdress when out with them. But I find it ever-so-entertaining to parade through portraits past to see similarities and differences in both the men I have dated and myself. When dating a nature, earthy guy I could often be seen in hoody’s and jeans, when dating a guy who often wore suits, I could be seen in heels or dresses. Or par example: beards for me are a must in men, even if they’ve always been a babyfaced, twice-a-shave-a-day kind of guys. So, the guys I have dated have tended to grow a beard, since I always say how much I love it and compliment it. It’s a learned change, but something they do, as we do for them, naturally.

The same way they say people tend to look like their dogs over time, I agree the same is to be said for couples. Now don’t leave me hanging here, lady love. Tell me, have you noticed the same? Are we all but dating chameleons or am I a lone-ranger on this one?

– Jenny Jen


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