You hate him because you think that he hates you. You like him because you think he’s always friendly to you. In fact, how you think someone feels about you, helps you determine how you feel about them and then you act accordingly (as do they, so it is). Think about it: Have you ever written someone off based on what you assume they think of you? Your thoughts act as a self-fulfilling prophecy, as you project this energy onto another. You see said person and – thinking they dislike you – you hold back, shy off, and aren’t the friendliest. In turn, they likely act the exact same. And around and around on this merry go round of letting your own thoughts and insecurities get the best of you (and them).
But what if next time you ran into this assumed nemisis, you did the opposite of what you usually do? What if you broke out a smile and subtle (superficial though it might be) conversation with another, instead of avoiding them, giving them the eye, looking into their actions assuming they too are giving you the eye? Why not be the bigger person, hone in on that inner confidence of yours, and break the ice once and for all?
I wouldn’t be surprised if they too treated you with the same respect. Raising your ‘kiss kiss’ on their cheek with a ‘How have you been?’ sentiment. Instead of running, avoiding or using your go-to ‘looking busy with your iPhone’ tactic next time you see this person, give them the benefit of the doubt. It is much easier and freeing to be a forgiving, non-judgmental, graceful little blonde than it is to be one caught up in her thoughts, projections and grudges. There is nothing as freeing on oneself than forgiveness, and letting go of resentment. Give up on your grudge and reach out and let that weight on your shoulders suddenly be lifted.
– Jenny Jen
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