Your friends parents, and perhaps some of your friends themselves, and your grandparents – but of course – and those you meet superficially at an event or through friends, all seem to know with certainty that you are a good catch.
A good catch (by definition): someone who is physically attractive, has wit and charm, comes from a good family and has deep family roots. Someone who has money (self made, all the better), a good-on-paper job, good with kids, dresses well, is polite in public and respected by those in their circle. Someone who other girls want to be and other men want to be with. Someone who makes a room stop. Who can make a man melt with her cooking, her bedroom skill and her heart on her sleeve, consideration her strong suit. Well rounded, well versed. Active in both hobbies and in her social circles. Someone who will ‘make a great mother’. A humorous hue to many of her sentences. Someone who challenges and won’t let one walk all over her pretty little self.
And so, when others see admirable traits in us they rant and they rave about setting us up with so and so, about why the man whose been by your side (and in your bed) for the past x amount of time still has yet to make a final, next-step commitment. For every girl in the world, there is someone who has told her at some point or another that she is a good catch. But what does that really mean? And isn’t it all just relative? What’s a treasure for one, could be trash for another.
A good catch isn’t just someone who is good on paper and has looks to back it up. Contrary to popular belief, a good catch is one who knows how to handle issues, stands by your side, is loyal and well mannered, when no one else is around. It’s not about what other people see, but what you see. So when you have managed to land yourself a guy who everyone ‘ohhh’s’ and ‘ahhh’s’ over, yet can’t help but notice his downfalls: his bad temper, his stonewalling tactics when you argue, his inability to provide you with reassurance or take care of your sexual needs, then why prey tell does it matter if he’s been labeled a good catch by those in our community?
We often fail to see the truths about others, because we so get wrapped up in the idea of them. And when we finally have that blonde, bronzed, ballsyness to let that really-not-so-great catch go, we suffer from post breakup stress syndrome as we contemplate whether or not we should’ve cut the cord. After all, he does have qualities x, y and z. Couldn’t we just suck up the rest, we wonder? We flirt around and fantasize with what he might be like with new potential flames, them oblivious to the con’s only seeing the pro’s you saw at the beginning, before you really knew who he was. When you too were wrapped up with the idea of this ‘good catch’. At the end of the day though, you need to remember that if you weren’t happy with the type of person he was, and how he acted when he was with you, how he is with another just shouldn’t matter. Perhaps she might be willing to tolerate his nuances. Perhaps she doesn’t have that same self-respect as you. Perhaps she hasn’t had the luxury of time to see or pay mind to the things one would rather not get caught in their net. Or perhaps, they are just a more compatible match. In any case, she can have him! Remind yourself that Mr. Good On Paper might have a fucking phenomenal book cover, with perhaps a few acclaimed comments by some of the best critiques, but the content of the book doesn’t match the reviews and for that, you can move forward with certainty that you are better off. Find a good catch instead whose book ends in happily ever after. Enjoy your read!
– Jenny Jen
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