Benefit Of The Doubt


Friends are fun. They’re great to gossip with. To go out with. To surround yourself and fill your itinerary with.

But sometimes, when the going get’s tough, it becomes easier for us to sort of hermit-away, as opposed to reaching out. We do this often to maintain that majestic image of ourselves that we work so damn hard on. That one that shouts life is good, even during those silences where it’s anything but. Now we don’t peace out passively (per se), in hopes that someone will catch on to our behaviour and force a story out of us, but instead we do so ever so non-challantly. For the idea of being judged is one that intimidates us, so we avoid going on Facebook chat, picking up the phone and dodge plans all in the same to pay no mind to the elephant in the room.

It makes sense why we think we should stay silent: for if we share our fate with our friends and then something changes, they will always hold our tales near and dear. I remember my older (and wiser) sister once telling me not to talk to friends about issues within my relationship, because friends don’t forgive as easily as family. But during a chaotic off and on relationship (about a lifetime or so ago…what was I thinking?!) I learned the hard way. When off, friends I would lean on. When on, they were left confused at all we had discussed, and all held my then-other half accountable. Let’s just say there weren’t that many double dates and we’d often spend evenings and weekends at hotels to avoid running into other eyes.

But now at this stage, I realized that yes – family will always be there – but true friends won’t judge. Friends aren’t just there for the reasons listed at the top of this blog, but they are also there to act as a support group. To help us pick up the pieces when we just don’t have the strength to do it ourselves. They are there to check in on us, to keep us busy, to make us feel whole when we feel anything but.

And to what are you to owe their generousity, concern and care? Well, by living well, but of course. What it comes down to is that friends – competitive though they might be – don’t want to see you suffering. From the outside perspective, with no emotions involved, they are able to painfully see the damage you’re doing to yourself; the endless analyzing, the inability to move or escape your thoughts, and they want to force the reality on you as much as they can. For seeing you prosper helps them feel a warmth. Use your friends to the fullest. Don’t hold back. The more authentic you are with them, the more you seek their awaiting metaphorical shoulders, the more they are willing to support you, check in on you and help you move forward to whatever struggles you’ve been dealt with. Stay strong, keep that bronzed chin of yours up, and don’t believe yourself when you say your friends ‘don’t want to hear it’ or will judge you. They are all you need right now and all it takes is a simple outreach on your behalf, and I can assure you they’ll take care of the rest.

– Jenny Jen

Photo Credit: Source.

*Todays blog dedicated to my favourites and bests. You know who you are. xo

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