Feels Like Cheating

Picking a movie with your partner is never an easy feat. You want rom-com, he wants action. You want artsy, he wants slapstick comedy. A trip to the video-store always proves this theory to be so. It’s a scene all us coupled-up cuties frequently play out. We spend an embarrassing amount of time in the store as we dissect each and every DVD box whose cover and title catch our attention. We read the back of the box, hopeful that – if it’s our pick – our man will give it the ok. The ok, as we all know, isn’t easy to come by. When a decision is finally made (the video-store closing the likely cause), often one of the two of us aren’t satisfied. It’s a rarity (to say the least) when we agree on a film. Which is why, the one night you’re not with him and you want to rent a movie, you can’t help but feel like it’s cheating if the movie you want to watch is one you know he’d like as well.

Whether you rent it or not is your decision. But I couldn’t help but laugh when I caught myself selecting a film and then resisting to watch it even though I really wanted to because I knew the boy would appreciate the wait. It made me wonder how other couples choose what movies to watch together.

I think it usually looks something like this:

Taking turns – you select whatever movie you want to watch (chick flicks included) and he sucks it up and watches it with you, with the knowingness that next time you guys watch a flick together, he gets to pick whichever film his heart desires, and vice versa.

Pros: You get to watch exactly what you want, all with the luxury of having his company will doing so. Winning.

Cons: You have no say over his selection and have to accept it. You guys may lose track or get in mini-arguments over whose turn it is to choose this time.

Mocking – Mocking is a mechanism used to try to make your partner pick another film other than their original selection. You may put down the actors, the story line, whatever it takes in hopes that you can somehow sway his decision.

Pro: He may give in and – though you don’t want to watch whatever he ends up picking – you at least don’t have to watch a flick you were really loathing for whatever reason.

Cons: If you mock his selection you are telling him (without saying it) that he doesn’t have as much freedom as he had hope. People in relationships shouldn’t restrict their partners. It more so often then not ends up leading to resentment.

Next time you and your arm candy are renting a film, I challenge you to let him choose whatever film he wants, and to accept it head on. That means no put downs on his selection; no trying to change his mind, and certainly no guilting him to let you choose a film of your fancy. Practice acceptance. At the end of the day, these trivial things aren’t worth our energy.

– Jenny Jen

Photo Credit: Source.


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