Falling asleep in our mans arms; a favourite past time for most. With his arm around you before you trail off into a dream world, you already feel a part of one. When a guy wraps his arms around us, we often feel comforted, attended to, cared for, connected. We are oblivious to the fact that circulation in his arms may be long gone, and that it takes him much longer to fall asleep in attempts to accommodate how we’re curled up and not how he wants to be curled up. But the boy likes the whole cuddling thing for all the same reasons as us, so he does it despite it’s downfalls. That is until one day (perhaps after the few first months of the excitement that is sharing a bed) wears off, he wants to sleep sans you in his arms. So, when he falls asleep his arms to himself, here’s what you need to know (and remind yourself of) before you take it personally and ship his cute butt off to the unnecessary couch:
1) One Step Ahead: He has likely been thinking about not holding you to sleep for a while now. Often, before we take action, we ruminate and contemplate. He has likely played out this situation in his head, and is acting accordingly at a time when he feels comfortable enough to pull away; when he thinks you’re comfortable enough with him pulling away. Though it may come to a shock to you, he has mentally prepared himself for a cuddle-free sleep.
2) Big Balls: The courage it takes to do this – with the knowingness that a) you may be offended, b) you may take it personally and c) you may start a ‘Why don’t you care about me?’ fight bringing up all past minor moments of ways (you percieved) he didn’t show you that he cared – is quite large. Give the guy some credit. You are still sharing a bed, he’s still foregoing his likely learned ‘on a diagnal’ sleep patterns and you can still nuzzle up to each other before sleep falls upon you. Be happy you have a man who is assertive, and not one who is passive-aggressive, holding up resentment and blaming you in his mind for his few-and-far-betweens’ of good sleeps.
3) It’s Not You, It’s Me: We are often thrown off by change of any sorts. And just because he didn’t hold you to sleep last night, doesn’t mean he’s never going to let you fall asleep in his arms again. To function properly we all need a good nights sleep and if he isn’t comfortable for any reason, grant him the freedom to sleep how he see’s fit knowing you wouldn’t want to be made to feel bad if you wanted to get comfy.
– Jenny Jen
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