As picture perfect as we’d like the lives we lead to be, there are often other issues that arise that make it not so. By our twentysomethings we’ve established a list of both friends and foes, the latter which will be my focus of my aptly title post for today. Foes; some we have for good reasons, others for reasons that we aren’t even aware of. And though these certain someones are a cause of some self-dissatisfaction and looking into our own lives (in wonderment of what is so wrong about us), they also are people who make us stronger. They test our ability to communicate and to deal with circumstances that are far from pleasant. They test our battle of self esteem and the power we have over our own minds on whether we let them get the best of us or not. That is until we finally reach a sweet spot when we are comfortable enough in our own skin that we’re ready to approach our enemies head on, in hopes to understand. In hopes to resolve.
But before we get to the resolution, the final step, here’s a well critiqued look at how the process of ‘hating’ usually comes about:
The process of disliking and being disliked
– person x does something (likely unbeknownst to them) to offend person y
– person y – instead of addressing the issue head on – pulls away, acts cold and says bad things (likely presumed) about person x to other people
– person x picks up on the coldness and hostility (and maybe hears some of the words person y is telling others) and in turn grows a justified dislike of person y, often telling others they don’t get why y dislikes them, further adding fire into the pit of hate
– together both people’s perceived actions further make them dislike one another and obstacles are made when they are forced to be at the same place at the same time, usually affecting mutual friends who are somewhat forced to take sides as they are caught in the middle of something that has to do with nothing more than politics
If you are at the same place at the same time with someone you may have a same (misguided) dislike for:
– you try to avoid them and they try to avoid you
– you likely assume each time you observe them talking and looking in your direction, that they are likely talking about their dislike for you. They likely assume the same
– you may say hi (to be fake, to be nice, to get it over with or in hopes of reconciling) to which they may not acknowledge (making you feel rejected, though like a bigger person)
Such is the situations we’ve all learned to loathe over a lack of communication and perceived notions. How often it is when we finally meet someone who we once judged from stories and what not, only to find out our projections and ideas of them were so wrong and not even close to how they really are. I don’t know about you my fellow blondette, but I don’t like having people not like me, especially if the reason behind it isn’t even accurate. I’m sure you don’t like having to avoid certain people on nights out, especially if you have mutual friends. It makes everyone find the need to tip-toe in their peep toes and the idea of that makes my feet and mind cringe in discomfort, you too?
So find that inner confidence (and a bit of blonde, bronzed, ballsiness) and next time you run into a foe, confront them. Point the fuck out of that pink bedazzled elephant in the room, and clear the air. Life is too short to have to deal with nonsense that could likely be resolved in a short, two-sided convo, non?
– Jenny Jen
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