Why is it that we find it so unsettling for everything in our life to be ‘right?’ We spend so much time in our younger years striving to come to close to perfect, yet when we seemingly have it all, we often ferociously try to find faults with it. It being our relationship. After having had our fair share of relationships gone wrong, and a whole lot of baggage to show for it, we seem to be unable and unwilling to accept when we meet a guy who isn’t a dick. In fact, it’s as if we’ve been trained that there only is one type of jerk of a guy out there that when Mr. Nice Guy comes along, we look for problems. Because surely, this is just an act. Surely he’s doing something being our backs, our suspicious minds think, not knowing any better not to think this way. But as we look for problems and in turn create them in our head, we are taking ourselves away from the present, from all the amazing things he’s doing to make us feel like we are the luckiest girl in the world as we do a little something called self sabotage.
This sort of self sabotage is the thing happiness seems to be made of. As if we’ve all become just oh so adjusted to not having things going our way, that once we do, we just don’t know what to do with it. Our habits only know challenges, so to add a dose of drama into our out-of-nowhere undramatic life, we look for things that are ‘off’. We create instances in our head, we change our perspective and make issues out of what should be the pleasant present. We become the justification behind the term ‘psycho girlfriend’ as we check his Facebook, emails, question an article of clothing we’ve never seen before at his place, and basically Sherlock Holmes our way into misery, uncertainty, doubt and self destruction.
You my friend, deserve to be happy. It is ok (and even encouraged) for you to bask in the bliss that this gent seems to be bringing into your life. Don’t lose sight of what’s important. Trust is key in a relationship. Lack of it results in endless questions and pain brought on solely by you. Stop looking for (and creating) the worst. Change your perspective, and next time you are with him, look for and breathe in all the good, as opposed to searching for a measly crumb of created bad.
– Jenny Jen
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