Have you been looking forward to plans only for them to not follow through? We’ve all been there and it is anything but pretty. Because we know we did it to ourselves – well at least partially anyways. We let ourselves plan and prepare and then, when whatever the plan was doesn’t pan out, we end up feeling one or more of a variety of emotions including (but not limited to): frustration, disappointment and anger. I have spent many a nights in relationships past, disappointed with my significant other for not following through on a proposed plan. Whether my partner at the time was tired, had a long day, was put off by the wintery weather, or any other reason, I saw these ‘reasons’ as excuses, and by doing so, I put myself in a worse-off state.
How often we go wrong by creating an attachment to the ‘idea of’ a set plan. In ‘looking forward’, we picture what would be so vividly in our head that there is only room to be let down. When we need to re-write what we had already hoped would happen, we become unsettled. Many of us take plans changing (ie: not going to a bar/restaurant/movie/dancing and instead staying in the ‘comfort’ of our homes) as personal stabs, unable to see that we still had the luxury of the other persons company.
I know this is ever-so-common. We cling to ideas, unable to re-write our night; unwilling. But when situations like this come up, we need to be more easy going with how we respond. Because the night is still young, and yes it sucks that this happened and you won’t get to do whatever you had hoped, but you still have your partner by your side. So long as this doesn’t become habitual on his end, with him changing plans constantly and you being let down, then there’s nothing to worry about. Us women have a way of making little bumps in the road full fledged personal ‘I’m not good enough’ attacks. Stop looking into it, roll with the punches. Afterall, your night becomes what you make of it.
– Jenny Jen
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