Why utter a put down, when you can give a compliment? Why be defensive when you can accept others words as their own thoughts, as opposed to criticisms? Why not extend a helping hand as opposed to avoiding? Why not let go instead of holding back? Why not be in the moment instead of preparing and predicting the next? Why judge others as bad, when you know you are good and how they are or their intentions don’t matter so long as you have that knowingness? Why not dodge the triggers that come your way as opposed to letting them hit you hard?
They say our life is what we make of it. That those that are happy choose to be happy and those that are sad seal their own fate. So how do we end up on the upside of something that brings us down? Our thoughts are directly correlated with our feelings. When someone presents us with kind words or a kind gesture, we are often overcome by positive feelings, all in the same, when someone who brings something up – perhaps the name of a nemesis, or a story that reminds us of a rough time – those words act as triggers, causing a domino effect of accompanied negative thoughts and feelings. So much for a good day when it begins tainted with a trigger.
The person whose words are behind both the good and bad triggers is merely a messenger, oblivious to his words affects. We all know too well the saying “Don’t shoot the messenger,” which makes things so unfortunate (as far as metaphors go) when he just shot us. The fact is, people say things all the time oblivious to the affect they have on the person. They aren’t uttered out of harm or ill will, but out of sheer unknowingness. Oblivion.
I know twentysomething ladies who cut friendships off because they were insulted by what their then-friend said, unbeknownst to the person who said something. I know bronzed beauties who hold grudges when someone says something that ‘they should have known’ not to have said. Though it’s easy to become frustrated or disappointed with the person who holds the gun through his tongue, one must remember that the reaction that comes from said words is based on ourselves. Based on the type of person we are and the type of person we choose to be. So next time negativity comes your way, see it for what it is and try with all your might to let it go. To just be. After all, the girl who chooses to be happy and live a healthy lifestyle is the one that draws in the same sorts of people into her life. If the spiral has already begun, remember, it’s never too late to write your own fate.
– Jenny Jen
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