I’m not one for rules. In fact, I’m not one for others who play by the rules. What I am however is one who let’s things come naturally. More often than not, many of us find ourselves at a standstill as we contimplate which road to take, obsessing and analyzing like none other, curious as to what type of impression we are giving off in the world of dating. The problem with this is – when people think and do in this way – it ends up being orchestrated; a stab at ones own authenticity as they play the role of whom they think the other wants them to be.
“Do I message? Why hasn’t he messaged? I want to see him, do I ask to see him? No wait, that’s too available, he can ask me to see him…” For the times I’ve been asked these questions by friends, family and readers I’m surprised I haven’t put pen to paper on this topic.
We’ve heard of all the rules of dating. Wait three days before you call the person for the first time. Don’t be too available. Wait for a few weeks or four dates (really girls?) before you sleep with him to not look too easy. But with all these rules comes you blocking yourself from sharing yourself. From showing the real you.
In my early twentysomethings, I wasn’t as aware of this as I am now. But now, I’m all for just doing me. If your instincts tell you something is right, listen to them. Wrong, listen to them. I like to think of my instincts as my sixth sense. And I like to portray myself exactly as I am. Because I’m certain I’m fabulous and if my quirks and energy isn’t aligned with someone, I’d rather know early off than put on a show only to learn it won’t work.
Sure there are endless books guiding women everywhere to follow by the rules of engagement (so to say) if they want to land a man. Nuh-uh. Not for me. And not for you. Be you. Do you. You want to knock one down on date one, be safe, but go for it. You want to contact him, sure, so long as you’ve recieved some tell tale signs he digs you back. You want to sext and spice things up while you’re sitting in a heavy hitting meeting, why not? I say rid yourself from worrysome rules, go with the flow and what will be will be.
– Jenny Jen
Photo Credit: BANEFUL & BEAUTIFUL.