I’m always humoured when – after obsessing for months – girls seem to suddenly get over the guy of their affection just like that. They go to bed one night longing for him, and then wake up having forgotten whats-his-name. If only they didn’t spend the past however many days/weeks/months worried about moving on, the time, and unnecessary energy they would have saved themselves. How easy it seems to be done, yet – when haunted by the ‘idea of’ letting go and moving forward – many women tend to stunt themselves. The idea becomes a fear and the best of us don’t bode well with fear. We imagine things being way worse than they actually are. How chaotic. How helpless. How inactive.
Once one lets go, one becomes free. Free from disappointment, free from painstaking perplexity. When one has no expectations, one can’t be let down. Being held back is a decision we make for ourselves. I never feel sorry for someone who can’t let go. I can wish they would see the situation as an observer, not ridden of heart-wrenching emotion. I can suggest methods and tools to move forward, but the person in the position is the only one who can determine when it’s time to do so.
So when does that time come? Does it come with it being January 1st and wanting to start fresh? Does it come with dating other people and realizing the one you wanted wasn’t as good as you made him out to be in the first place? Or does it come from actually taking space from the person and the situation to realize you are better than that – that this person didn’t bring anything to the table anyways that is unique or different from another? No matter what the reason, the motivation or the strength to bring you to the cut off phase, I commend the women who are there. Like a bird sitting in an unlocked cage, finally realizing that all it has to do is just fly out. No effort. No pain. Complete and utter freedom.
You are a present, like this moment. If the person who has your pretty little mind wrapped up in a knot doesn’t treat you like it, or shower you with generosity and forms of giving, then spread those wings mama.
– Jenny Jen
Photo credit: BANEFUL & BEAUTIFUL.