The Backer Outer

Ladies, you are not alone nor are you ugly, a failure, fat, not good enough (need I continue?) if a guy always breaks plans with you. In fact him breaking plans with you is a sign that you are likely a pretty patient and polite person (and possibly a little passive, but we won’t dwell on the bad). If you’ve ever had a guy back out of plans each and every time you set a date, chances are it’s not you, it’s him. So why is it that we spend so much time blaming our blonde, bronzed selves instead of taking his actions for what they are: his actions?

I find it sort of sad that we make ourselves feel lost when a boy bails. The thing with bailers is they can bail because you let them. Now I’m not saying force a guy to commit to his word, because that makes you the jack ass, what I am saying however is that once you notice a pattern in him, you’re silly to get your hopes up or think that ‘this time will be different.’ When people do things over and over (and over) again, they are showing you this thing is part of their character. Things come up here and there and I totally get that, but let’s be realistic, when given so many chances yet never able to follow through, he ends up putting your back out. You follow?

When a guy bails on plans on repeat he:

– never intended on seeing you in the first place.
– is facing severe uncertainty on whether or not there is any future with you, so cancels since he’s not fully in, not fully out.
– thinks you’re so ‘easy going’ since you let it slide the first time so doesn’t feel pressure to stay commited to the plans.

Either way, when people back out of plans they end up leaving you high and dry. Follow through is everything.

– Jenny Jen

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One thought on “The Backer Outer

  1. My two cents: If he (or she, fellas!) is constantly backing out/flaking, he or she is not interested. They get ego gratification out of knowing they’ve got the option, and they call/text to get a fix – like a junkie.

    This goes for both boys and girls – give them the benefit of the doubt one time. Second time, cut that person loose and move on. You’re too fly for that.

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