How frustrating it is when someone’s story just doesn’t match up. My organized self wants to make people like this a’ Lying Log’ allowing them to keep track of which excuses they used when, so they don’t overlap excuses.
I don’t know about you but I’ve gotten to a point in my life where everything is what it is, and I’m ok with that. It all comes down to honesty, being true to your word and just being authentic. I remember a time when I’d maybe want to hang out with my man in our little caccoon and wouldn’t want to bail on my friends, so I would make up an excuse. Those days are long gone. I find that when people are most honest, they actually end up getting more respect earned from others.
Take a friend of mine who – when I asked her if she was free to make plans one night – honestly told me that she’d like to see the guy she was dealing with, and he hasn’t mentioned it yet, so she doesn’t want to commit to plans with me ‘just in case’ she did end up hearing from him. And you know what? I didn’t even care. I wasn’t offended, I didn’t think it was selfish. Instead I appreciated her honesty and thought that it was respectable that she was able to tell it like it is.
Other friends I have – when called before plans – have been known to ignore their phone, totally dodging the fact that they are bailing on plans. How off-putting. I would never want that, nor would I ever do that to anyone else. It almost makes that person look like they either have something to hide, or are weak, since they seemingly can’t even build up the courage to tell you that something else came up, or whatever it is. To me, these types of people come off as selfish and oblivious. Their inability to be honest further creates the hole to which they’ve dug.
But that’s not the worst type. What’s worse (and rather infuriating might I add) is the one who uses the same excuse twice. “I would love to, but I have my office Christmas party tonight” he says, the same thing he said on this same day last week.
I don’t even care when people say no to plans. It happens. I’ve done my fair share of no’ing plans for whatever reason it is, as I’ve also made ‘tentative’ plans, honest about my lack of full commitment. I just think there’s something off when someone a) feels the need to make an excuse and, b) uses the same excuse twice. That ‘Lying Log’ is looking like quite the idea right now, isn’t it?
– Jenny Jen