I knew he was going to be there. A part of me was looking forward to it. And though I expected some initial awkwardness (which was to be a result of our mutual friends knowing that we were about to have ‘a moment’ and partly because it had been a while and we had what we had in our past) I knew that we’d likely get past that within the first five to ten, and I was right. We did.
It’s always interesting running into someone who you shared a past with. Of all the guys I’ve dated, he always was the the easiest, coolest guys, most laid back guys. No crazy. No pressure. Easy. Easy to get along with, fun to be around, no drama, no issues, just easiness. We were always on the same page. One of us didn’t like the other more, it was mutual. There were no games, we were each others equal, and wow was that ever fun. Isn’t it amazing what happens when you have no expectations in another person? It’s a recipe for ease, for rational and for level headedness. How I wish my other relationships went something like this. But that’s what makes this boy special (as I’m always sure to remind him when we cross paths all too infrequently).
I remember when things ended; I had met someone else (an old flame came back into my life) and I figured if anything was going to be with me and old flame, that easy guy would need to be put on the back burner. And you know what, easy guy was totally cool with that and actually gave me his blessings, another sign of the class act that he was.
Since we parted ways, he’s always held a special place in my heart. A great reminder that there are great guys out there who don’t stress and don’t cause stress in return. He was generous in many ways, always included me with him and his friends, and even would have his buddies lend me their coats or blazers if we were out and I was cold (he is the classic t-shirt guy). And if this at all sounds cheesy, I must not that he was more of a man’s man than a ladies man. He’s the guy at the bar buying all his buddies yet another round, not counting pennies, his only concern being everyone else having a kick ass time.
Last night was no different. His easy going attitude was contagious and made me remember what it’s like to be around a guy who lived in the present, with a few loose buttons on his shirt (so to say) and who doesn’t take himself too seriously. It was good to see him, and funny to watch his friends watch us interact. And no matter where our lives lead us, he will always be the one i refer to in stories over brunches and teas with my girlfriends about him being the best guy to date (and how I wish he’d write out a manual for my current and future partners).
Running into someone from your past, often makes you look at your present. Where have you come from then to now. What’s changed? What stayed the same? Is there still attraction there? What are the boundaries? If old flame guy never came back into my life, I seriously think easy guy and I would likely still be together, label free, taking each day as it came, enjoying it in the present. But as other things come up and life plays out, I use last nights expected run in as a reminder of what things can be, and to not settle for anything less than being treated like an equal.
– Jenny Jen
P.S. Easy guy, if you still read my blog (an initial supporter when I started up), good talk.
Photo Credit: BANEFUL & BEAUTIFUL