Drake. Gotta love him. His lyrics make us relate, yet he’s so not as emo as Dave Matthews – whom I love – whose lyrics hit in a much heavier way. Today a guy said to me “I’m doing me”, as a response to me asking him to explain his thoughts and feelings. At first I couldn’t help but laugh, asking him if he really just referenced a Drake song to answer a semi-deep inquiry (really?). Yet when he admitted it, he said that it’s because Drake knows what he’s talking about, and wrote it because we can all relate.
Firstly ladies, let me pinpoint that this is a total cop-out-of-an-answer to a guys feelings (note: avoidant), however, it got me to thinking about how important it is for us to just be ourselves. To not say things to try to get a rise out of people. TO not act out of jealousy, hurt, insecurity or doubt. To just be, and let the us that we are be seen and to eventually shine through. Many of us really suffer when it comes to open, honest communication because we fall prey to being the victim of ourselves. Negative self talk causes our minds to run wild, making our perspective completely adapt to our imaginations delight. How sad that must be for those in our life who are affected by our inability to just be honest. To admit hurt, defeat, doubt, lack of love both from ourselves and from which we seek outside of ourselves.
When we look at things always on the defence, we do more harm to ourselves than good. We end up jeopardizing ourselves and our opportunities by imposing those defences on others. With guy above I saw him doing it by referencing a catchy tune, to avoid talking about his own feelings – and I caught myself doing it, with how I brought up the subject in a casual/careless type-tone in the first place. We both screwed ourselves over, and left said sitch with a sour taste. But by just looking at this (like any) situation with a different view point, it’s likely that we could both see where we went wrong, and could likely empathize with one anothers need to self protect.
Time breeds clarity. That so much is true. But when clarity hits, is it too late?
They say the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. If we always think using the same blue print, this will cause one (and bystanders) to go insane. Use an eraser, and re-draw just a single line on the blue print. Try something new, a new outlook and see if it does you any good.
– Jenny Jen
Photo Credit: AP Photo/Matt Sayles