Setting the Setting

You have an upcoming date (mazel tov) and you’re sorta, kinda, ok incredibly excited. You have the day and time set, and you’re at the point where you can’t stop running outfit ideas through your head, but you can’t make a final decision until he lets you know the plan, and where he’s taking your hot ass. Dependant on the chosen locale, your attire will vary, and you want to make sure everything about this night is perfect (as much as you can, at least).

You don’t want to act too pushy, so when you don’t hear back from him about the location, you just try to remind yourself to be patient. Day of arrives and he finally divulges the plan. Turns out Romeo has picked up a bottle of vino, will grab you at 8pm, and you will both retire to his humble abode. Wait, what? Abort, abort!

Dating Rule #1: Do not go on a first date at a guys house

Why not? Because someone who is serious about dating you and getting to know you will want to impress you. And not with you know what. The guy who wants to see where things will go with you, will want to take you out and show you a good evening. He’ll likely make a plan and come pick you up and treat you like the princess that you are. And he will do this all with the excitement of a little boy, in hopes of making you smile. He’ll also feel rewarded when he knows he’s done a job well done and see’s how happy you are. This is a guy that cares.

The guy who has you come to his place on a first date is more concerned with being in his comfort zone. He see’s an in-house date as a means to an end. An opportunist, if you will. I’m sure there are some exceptions to the rule but typically a guy who has you over to his place on a first date wants to just hook up. He’s lazy, doesn’t think your worth the effort for him to plan a date, let alone to invest any money in you (bitch, please). As I’ve discussed in the past, it’s all about setting precedents. If you accept a “date” in his house where he doesn’t have to do anything to impress you, then you are setting yourself up for many a future disappointment.

Dating is all about the fireworks, the feelings, the firsts. Make yours more meaningful and don’t settle for a guy who settles for a girl he doesn’t know much, some libations and some liberalesque behaviour.

– Jenny Jen



2 thoughts on “Setting the Setting

  1. i gotta disagree with your post.I hosted the first date with my beautiful girlfriend of three years now at my apartment. She was comfortable with it and so was I. I was able to prepare a 5 course meal and we got to know eachother with hours of conversation.

  2. Men, are you listening?The five course meal gesture no doubt makes all my readers envy your little lady. You my friend, are the exception.Despite this, I still strongly advise against the in-house date. It leaves too much room for the 'dot dot dot' to happen, and the guy has 'power over' since he's in his comfort zone. Rain cheque that five course meal for date three+, ladies.

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