What If dot dot dot

Last night I was up moderately late. I got into a semi-heated discussion with a boy, my room posing as a confessional. He wasn’t with me in the room, thank god, because – as expressed in yesterdays post – my eyes give away everything I’m thinking. We were talking over one of the technological devises, this one being BBM, fittingly, since no one can really seem to be so up front without hiding behind something (says the girl who pours her heart out via her blog but once daily).

In any case the convo went something along the lines of ‘coulda, shoulda, woulda‘ in terms of building a serious relationship in the past. And that’s the thing with hindsight, easy to say how you feel after the fact. Where were your words when you felt this way? Because I’m pretty certain we had each other on BBM back then.

Though us being partners now is totally unrealistic since there are other people in the picture, I must admit I was taken aback by his honesty, and dabbled with the idea of what it would be like if we were each other’s other.

Have you ever wondered – correction: so accurately pictured – the ‘what could be’ with another that is not yours? And if you picture that ‘what could be’ and it looks half descent, are you at all interested in testing it out? In at least looking into how and why you can possibly even think of the possibility of that?

This whole thing reminds me of what we all did as children (and dare I say some of us still do in our twentysomethings); we wait for someone else to speak up before we say what we really want. It’s like when you’re at an event and want a refill in your flute, but you don’t want to look like a lush, so you wait until another friend of yours heads to the bar, in which case you feel totally comfortable following suit. Such is the same in this scenario. What if…

– he said we should cut ties with others and give it a shot?
– i said i’d like that?
– he admitted that this conversation stems from something within, something that is lacking in his current situation?
– i said i understood?
– we were a we together, and there weren’t outside distractions, other people, pain to be caused to others, if we could test it out and just see what we’ve wanted to see but no one wants to take the lead in the dance of what if?

Not gonna lie girls, it sure was nice to play pretend for an hour or so. I’m being specific and selfish here by speaking in first person, but if you can (and are) relating to the above, then I want you to keep the below quote near and dear, and give it a chew.

Tonight on Twitter, @BenBachelor posted: If you ℒℴѵℯ two people at the same time, choose the second one. Because if u truly loved the first one, u wouldn’t love another one. #LOVE

True? False? Debate, discuss.

– Jenny Jen



One thought on “What If dot dot dot

  1. I understand and respect the quote but I don’t fully agree with it, when and why people come into our lives is not always clear and I don’t feel there is a meant consecutive order, life is full of choices and opportunities we take or choose not too……there are many we love, a few we fall in love with and one we choose…You can defiantly love more than one person at a time, each love will have pluses and minus. You have a choices and your reason for falling for another is not always to show you a better path but sometimes to remind you that you are on the right one. What life do you want to live? Who do you want to share it with more? What do they have to offer? What baggage? What kind of love? What risks are you willing to take? Remember you can know someone but there is still always the unknown… trust your heart and your gut… and take steps towards the one that feels right… this is your life…(*Then there is the whole idea: Do we really have to just choose one, society tells us yes, but that’s another whole issue and discussion.)

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