There is nothing as scandalous as news of a cheating scandal. Tiger Wood’s wasn’t the first man to cheat, but he definitely gave rise to a little trend of not keeping it in his pants there, now didn’t he? From Tiger, to Jesse James, to Eddie Cibrian, to Letterman, to most recently Tony Parker, cheating scandals are a comin’. Like them. But with the break of these stories comes reports from multiple media sources, covering stories about why these men would ever dare slip their tip behind the well-toned backs of some of the worlds most beautiful and desired women.
Well while the pop culture journalists are rushing to figure out why pretty girls get cheated on, the relationship “journalists” (oh give me a break – of course I can call myself one – I have a bachelor degree to show for it and everything!) know what is being left unsaid:
It doesn’t matter how hot/desired/smart/sane/successful/’capable’ your partner is, if something is missing in said relationship and an opportunity arises, many people (read: not just men) stray. Why? Because they can. Because they need to be fulfilled (operative word ‘full’) in a way that they aren’t in the relationship.
So why not just speak up and communicate with your partner? It’s likely they have. But the partner fails to realize just how low, just how down, just how incomplete the person is feeling. So that void goes unfulfilled. Untouched upon, until it begs to be touched elsewhere. Mind the pun.
I’m not saying I’m for or against. I’m not saying it’s the partners fault when the cheater strays, what I am saying however, is when your partner comes to you with a concern, listen. Don’t write it off. Don’t label it dramatic, or unwarranted. People feel what they feel, and who are we to determine or label said feelings?
When something isn’t right – often a lack of attention/security -people tend to look elsewhere to prove to themselves that they are still wanted/desired/important. Getting caught or getting off isn’t the trigger to someone who acts, but instead getting an (unwarranted) feeling of worth, appreciation, etc., is. People often cheat for the lack of emotional companionship from their current companion. But listen girls, if you start to have these straying so-to-say thoughts, look deeper. Investigate within your conflicted self what your relationship is lacking, and bring it up point blank.
Sex is just that. It’s not love. It’s not inside jokes, and memories, and crying in front of one another, and sharing intimate details about your past present and fantasizing about a future life. It’s plain and simple, insert and remove. So though breaking trust, it is just an act, not necessarily symbolic of their lack of feelings towards you, but instead symbolic of a greater need being unmet.
Remind your partner why you love them, how handsome you think he is, why you fell for him. No matter how busy you get at work/school/play, make it known that you know how lucky you are to have him. Compliment them when you have a nice thought. Embrace them as they are. An amazing thing happens when you are honest and appreciative of what you have, that niceness and appreciativeness becomes valued in return.
– Jenny Jen