I have out-of-towners staying at my place. They got back in last night around 9pm, just as I was sitting down to dinner. Being proper and living up to proper guest-etiquette, they sat with me, and kept me company during my meal. How sweet I thought, though likely sweeter for them since they got down to the Barbara Walters/Larry King-like questions, and I gave them the answers they wanted.
They are second cousins of mine, a couple about to celebrate their – wait for it – 40th wedding anniversary. Though they’ve known me since infancy, they can’t get over how their little Jenny turned out to be a relationship columnist and blogger. The latter, they found out since their three children are all loyal readers (hi guys!) In any case, they made sure to tell me that they don’t read my blog, but they wanted the run down of my three big loves (and the few men in between) and that I gave them.
Both were overly impressed by the ability I had to ‘pinpoint and share’ my feelings. And now that my friends, is why I’m a relationship columnist and blogger, now isn’t it?
I felt good after the talk. I was authentic. I was honest. I was putting it out there, letting my vulnerabilites show, yet didn’t feel guarded or uncomfortable in any way. There is something so comforting about being upfront. Many people I know (or have dated) are more guarded with their tales from the heart. They concern themselves by projected judgements from others, their idea of what others will think causing them to keep quiet, to talk down their feelings, in turn making them look like they have something to hide. Are you one of them, or are you one of me?
Next time you catch yourself editing out details, or cutting short an answer you’re giving to curious people, question why you’re holding back. At the end of the day, the more authentic and honest you are with others, the more you recieve back from them in return.
To divulge is to feel comfort within oneself and ones own decisions. I didn’t go into every little detail but I can definitely say I covered my bases in a general, yet subtle way. The same way a Wikepedia page may cover the basics of all of the men Carrie Bradshaw dated in Sex and the City – their persona’s, their relations, their worldly traits and their downfalls.
Someone get this kid a book deal!
– Jenny Jen