I’m Grown Up, Are You?


Pasts. We all have them. From one night stands, to hooking up, to dating, as we reach our later twentysomethings, experience is definitely something we have. But with that experience comes the men (plural) that we experienced with. And though time has passed by, and you have taken on other lovers since him, there is always that know-it-all moment you both experience together when you have a run in. Whether it’s a montage of images of the different positions you guys conquered together, or maybe a sex trademark of his, the first few seconds that you catch a glimpse of him, you recollect it like it was yesterday (thank God it wasn’t).

So what do you do when you run into each other, knowing he is likely thinking the same thing? Do you avoid him? Do you acknowledge him? And does the woman on his arms know that you guys swapped spit (and more) and is she then tense too? Or is she oblivious?

I was recently invited to a fete, and the host called me up a couple hours before to check if I was cool with one of his buddies. He wanted to make sure that we had no issues, since we would be in close corridors on this particular eve. I smiled when he asked me. Of course we’re cool. I’m not one to make things awkward, in fact I’d likely walk right up to the dude, give him a kiss on the cheek, his girlfriend a smile, and get it all over with so I can enjoy the night. But the fact that the host thought to ask me is the thing that politics are made of. It was years ago, things didn’t work out. They were fun when they lasted, then I got back together with an ex, he (I presume) heard and that was that. No mess (to my knowledge). Nothing but fun, naughty little memories. I told the host to feel free to check with his buddy, and got a text a few minutes later telling me we’re good to go. Oh to be grown up and not give into politics and mini-dramas which need not exist at this stage in life.

I ended up going to the event, and by the time I arrived fashionably late, him and his current squeeze had already left to call it a night. C’est la vie.

If you run into a bed buddy who doesn’t make trips to your bed no more, be a grown up and say hi. No need to reminisce, no need to give it another go. Instead take in that moment when you two lock eyes, be aware of what image comes up, smile and then go about the rest of your evening. I can assure you he’ll be doing the same and to be quite honest, that tell-tale eye-locking moment gives you that little rush you need, which words could never give any justice to.

– Jenny Jen

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