I Know You Want Something From Me

You hear from someone out of the blue. They aren’t the usual out-of-the-bluers who check in with you on occasion, but instead you hear from them and just know they want something. You do the whole ‘Hi, how are you’, ‘I’m fine’ thing and then you sit there and wait for it. It’s come to the point where it’s so obvious they are contacting you because they need something that you just so badly want to ask ‘What can I do for you?’ But you can’t ask that, because that would admit how presumptuous you actually are.

We all seem to tip-toe around what we want. A question that’s begging to be asked. A piece of gossip we want to know more about. But what if we just got straight to the point? This past week, I spoke about the positive effects of being blunt in relationships. But I also think people look more genuine if they are blunt with other people as well.

Whether you want to ask someone on Facebook chat where they got that killer dress they are wearing in their profile picture, whether you are curious if they are still dating so-and-so, or even if you want to ask someone if they can pick you up from an event, I think the rule of thumb is you should cut straight to the point.

I find it so awkward when I get a phone call, where I’m being complimented on end, and then my friend says (as the convo nears an end) “Oh by the way, can I borrow your little black Theory dress for the date I’m going on in a couple hours?” I suddenly feel deflated, as if all the compliments that just came my way were to butter me up, for what the person should’ve had the courage to ask in the first place.

So if you are contacting someone out of the blue because you want something from them, ask them point blank. Don’t feel out the conversation to work up the courage to ask. Trust your gut. If you are uncomfortable asking something in the first place, that’s a sure sign that you likely shouldn’t. Once you’ve decided whether it’s right our wrong (or your business) to approach them, then own it. But let’s not be fake. Instead, be genuine and cut straight to the point. I’m certain the person on the receiving end would prefer that. Wouldn’t you?

– Jenny Jen


One thought on “I Know You Want Something From Me

  1. The most guy friendly post ever! I don't make a habit of giving out compliments but the assertive attitude in this post just got me so damn excited. The point of view reminds us of the people we love, who aren't offended by our to the point remarks. Being to the point keeps us open in our relationships; whatever kind they may be. Cutting straight to the point is genuine in my opinion but it can reveal alot about your closeness with a person. It can result in crappy stand-off-ishness from time to time. There are rules….no asking for a favour from your buddy's Dad after hitting up the ball game for the first time. But better fuck no than …..um …maybe or let me think about it. Trying to offer something in exchange just to qualify you to ask is polite and cute but shows your maybe not so close after all. Because with trust you know that good time Charlie will hit you back when you need it most. -Sean Sexton

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