“Let’s do something, maybe next week,” he says in the most oxymoronic way possible. Let me get this straight buddy. You’re suggesting plans for next week, yet at the same time you’re also saying maybe and you’re failing to specify a specific day. ‘You must really want to see me,’ we think to ourselves, eye roll et al. Yet, he’s the one that suggested the faux plans, so maybe…he does? This is all just so complicated. If men aren’t willing to commit to plans, then why suggest them in the first place? To keep us on a leash? Well we’re not bitches. Read on ladies if you want to live it up in the real world, and lay off the sugarcoating. After all, fewer calories equal a healthier mind.
The plan suggestion puts an idea in our head. We know our kind well enough ladies; once there’s an idea in our head, there’s only disappointment to be had. Especially when the suggested plans are so vague, because that in itself gives us more room to imagine what the plans might be, when they’ll take place, etc. So when a guy sorta/maybe/possibly’s plans with us, the only thing we can be sure of is we’re not his priority.
No ‘but’s,’ no ‘what if’s’ about it. If a guy is into you he is booking you in because he doesn’t want to risk the chance of not getting to see you. Not only is he booking you in, but he is even dodging plans of his own to fit into your schedule.
Here’s what I’ve noticed about a lack of commitment on guys parts to plans:
He’s waiting for a better offer: The guy who wants to see you wants to book you in. He wants that certainty that he’ll see you in the future. By not committing to a specific date/time/event he is leaving his options open. It’s a win/win situation for him. And may just keep you from making plans with other friends so you can be available ‘in hopes’ that he’ll call you up. Seriously girl, look at you.
He’s concerned with how you’ll perceive him making set plans: let’s face it, when a guy isn’t all that into you, but enjoys you behind closed doors, he may genuinely be interested in making plans with you but is concerned about what kind of idea that would give you. The holding back from making a set plan could be his way of keeping a controlled distance. Because let’s face it blondies, once they say yes once and it goes well, once is never enough for us and there we have it, a whole new precedent.
He’s got ‘guilt’ issues: He knows that if he set’s a plan and bails that he’s going to feel bad. In a selfish way, he doesn’t want to commit because he knows if he backs out on his word, he’ll have opened a can of worms. He’ll feel like an ass, he’ll look like an ass, and worst of all, you’ll tell your friends he’s an ass, which in turn may prevent him from getting ass in the future. He’s playing it safe by not giving his word when he’s not sure he’ll follow through on it.
No matter which way we cut it ladies, he’s obviously holding back. I don’t care how busy he is, how much stuff he has to get done, the man who doesn’t commit to plans is someone who is uncertain he wants to spend time with you.
Never make someone your priority in your life, when you’re only an option in theirs.
– Jenny Jen