A Deer in Headlights

Is there someone in your life that you hope/fear running into? You do a double-check whenever you see their car on the road, checking the license place and the windows to see if it’s them. It never is. Then one day, it is. ‘Why today,’ you wonder as you begin to feel your heart drop and butterflies emerge in the pit of your stomach. When you’re in that moment, everything seems to stop. ‘Do I honk? Do I hide? Do I try to look cool? Do I follow them?’ As the adrenaline picks up, so does the lack of saneness of your thoughts. And then the person turns and it’s over, and your left with all that energy to do something with.


Today, this happened to me. I will never know if the person saw me, but I’ll assume they did. I wonder what effect I had on them? For me, it stopped me in my tracks on my way to yoga class. I knew I wouldn’t be able to harness my inner calmness. Actually, who am I kidding? That probably would’ve been the best thing for me but I chose to find the nearest cafe, pull out my MacBook Pro, and write it out. I chose – instead of letting go – to embrace these feelings, as if on a high I don’t want to come down from.

I don’t know why I feel this way, nor do I get why I was so affected by such a brief encounter, but there you have it. Sometimes, the why doesn’t matter (as I wrote about a few weeks ago.) Sometimes we just need to be aware of the feelings we experience, observe them and let them go. I can sit here and wonder if it was fate that on this day I saw this person, I can wonder what it means and why I’m so hot and bothered. Or I can just smile knowing that this person is doing ok, looking good and can move forward knowing that we are both in a good place.

– Jenny Jen

Photo courtesy of BANEFUL & BEAUTIFUL

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