What happens when a relationship expert and a guy who became famous trying to find a relationship cross paths? Endless stories from our dating repertoire and a limitless comparison on tales of the good, the bad, the ugly and ultimately, tips on what neither of us should do in the future.
Material I could blog about from this over-dinner discussion alone would last months, as it’s the epitome of a he said/she said. But the subject matter that won me over, was women who send men sexually suggestive images via text and vice versa. Now the idea of this alone is nothing new, in fact a handful of my guy friends have shown me images from flash-happy ladies, which they’ve saved on their phone for a ‘jokes story.’ Um, not a joke I want to be a part of thank you very much.
So if we know guys share these pictures with their friends, then why do so many of us women send them?
Have you ever sent a naughty picture to a guy? If so, what were your intentions?
Taking and sending pornographic-like pictures should always be done with the utmost discretion. I suggest – if you must send one – to only send it to your current partner, whom you trust and are in a committed relationship with. The relationship guy (even if you break up) likely has enough respect for you to not share them. Though you’re treading lightly even at that. Nothing like a break up to bring out the crazy. I’d most certainly leave your face out of said photo and hope that if and when a break up happens, that it’s done as cleanly as possible.
If you aren’t in a relationship however, and you want to send one, please stop yourself. Please, for me?
Think of the following things that have the potential of happening (and no, your face not being shot doesn’t make it any ok if it is meant for someone you aren’t in a serious relationship with.)
1. You can accidentally send it to the wrong contact: A friend of mine who wanted to send an ‘afternoon treat’ to the boy she was seeing accidentally sent it to the wrong contact. A frat guy acquaintance who in response, sent it around to his friends, finding it oh so humorous. I’ve also had friends accidentally send sext’s to the wrong person since they had multiple guys name ‘John’ in their phone. Be prepared for an accidental send, and the unfortunate consequences.
2. Ask yourself what your intentions are: If you are sending a picture like this to a guy you just met, a guy you don’t know and want to meet, or a guy your hooking up with, you will lose credibility and future dating potential. Though I’m sure you’re a classy broad, this type of behaviour is anything but(t). Mind the pun. A guy doesn’t choose his wife because she sent him a picture of her touching herself.
3. Be prepared to be the punch line of the joke: The same way we save texts, emails and bbm’s to share with our friends for ‘a good story,’ men save our pictures for that too. And then they discuss it with everyone and anyone. It doesn’t make them look bad (unless they send a shot back) and instead, it actually makes them look quite good in a women-are-so-attracted-to-me-they’ll-do-whatever-it-takes-to-get-my-attention kind of way.
Same goes for sexting for all the above reasons. Take it from the girl who was dating someone with the same name as her brother-in-law. Yes, that was me. And the next time I saw him he just looked at me, said ‘Fun night?’ and I never looked back.
– Jenny Jen