Are there certain places you now avoid going to because they remind you of a time in your past, which in turn brings back a mirage of emotions?
What if you are invited to a fete, one in which you are so excited for and so happy to be a part of, and then you find out the location of it is one that you’ve attached overwhelming emotions to? The very thought of the place gets you all caught up in a reminiscent state (a state you’d prefer to not reminisce at all) and suddenly, your excitement level dims ever-so-slightly.
Welcome to another day in my life. Am I alone here?
I can picture the scene’s already. Walking into specific venues, walking into my past. A reminder of what was, all through the trigger of a simple place. The trigger begins when the place alone is mentioned, let alone going there and then, staying there.
So what do you say when an invite comes your way and the very thought of the ‘where’ makes you melancholy as all hell? “Sorry, I can’t make it to your goodbye party. The place you picked reminds me of the time…”
Shall I send a quartet there so at least one violin plays for you? Toughen up. Wipe your eyes, put on your must lustrous mascara (we all know that’s our best preventative measure for tears) and create a new memory there as a replacement.
Easier said then done, I know. Trust me, I know. But the idea of it and the fear of it is always worse than the actual situation, that has been proven time and time again in regards to other things we’ve experienced (exams, break ups, spending summers away from your partner, etc.)
If you can’t get your pretty-little-head around the idea of reuniting with said place (albeit on a different precedent) perhaps it’s because the nostalgic side of you is fond of that memory. If so, respect your comfort level, honour your memories, notice you’re holding on to them (perhaps look in to why you do), and – if within reason – suggest a different location by being straight up with whoever decided on it in the first place.
– Jenny Jen